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Chapter 22
"Sweetheart, are you sure you're ready for this?" Isabella asked her husband softly while they were getting dressed.
He paused in the middle of buttoning his shirt and smiled sweetly at her and said, "Beautiful, I'm not sure I'd ever be ready but it's way past time to come clean, wouldn't you say?"
She nodded because he was right, but it didn't make what he was about to do any easier for him, for her, or for any of the rest of them either.
"I know, but I just don't want you to feel like you have to do this if you're not ready. The other night was bad enough; I don't want to see you have to go through that again," she told him with a sigh as she sat on the edge of the bed.
He walked and sat down beside her, wrapping an arm tightly around her shoulder. When she laid her head on his shoulder he kissed the top of her head and then ran his fingers through her hair. "Talking to you the other night was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but because you're the amazing woman you are, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Isabella, I'm ready to put all of this, everything, behind me, finally. I've put you and everyone else through more than anyone should have to suffer, all because I've spent twenty years angry at my parents. I never should have waited this long in the first place, so yes, thanks to you and the fact you're still here with me, I'm ready."
For the past three days, the two of them had stayed hidden from everyone and everything. Phone calls went unanswered, except for text messages to let everyone know they were okay and wanted to be left alone. The television hadn't been turned on except for the few times they'd cuddled in bed to watch a movie, which they wound up ignoring because they couldn't stop talking to or touching each other. Food was delivered because neither wanted to leave the other long enough to cook anything; even their showers had been taken together.
"Edward, you know I'll always be here. I love you," she told him when she picked her head up.
"Well, thank God for that because you know if you ever tried to leave I'd just find you and bring you back. I can't live without you, love," he told her and then pushed her back on the bed and laid on top of her. "You've been so incredible these last few days," he whispered and then proceeded to lower his lips to hers for a toe-curling kiss.
His tongue languidly slid in and out of her mouth, caressing her tongue with his. She let him lead, let him take what he needed, what he wanted, and he greedily accepted what she offered. His fingers tangled in her hair and he ground himself against her, letting her know that even though they had made love too many times to count over the past few days, his desperate need for her hadn't diminished in the least.
"Oh, Isabella," he chuckled in her ear. He flicked her earlobe with his tongue and then nibbled on the tender skin of her neck. "Is it bad for me to say I just want this night to be over so that I can be inside of you again?"
She ran her fingers through his hair and then across his forehead and beneath his eyes. Thankfully, over the course of the past forty-eight hours, the creases on his forehead had lessened significantly, the dip between his eyebrows had evened out again, and his eyes were back to the usual vivid bottle-green that she was used to. She hoped, for all their sakes, that once the rest of the family knew what she did, they could all begin to heal.
She knew she had.
Listening to Edward tell his story was the most painful thing she'd ever had to endure and by the time he'd cried himself to sleep after hours of talking, she could feel their connection and their commitment to each other strengthen even more. She held him as he shook in her arms and told him over and over how much she loved him and always would. How strong she thought he was for enduring everything he had. How much more she understood now that he had shared his past with her. She never pitied him because he didn't need to hear that. He needed to know and believe that even though he'd been wrong about so many things and pushed away all the people that loved him, they were still there for him, still there loving him no matter what.
"I suppose I can share you with the rest of our family and friends for a little while, but I'll be just as happy when we're alone again as you will be, sweetheart," she told him and pulled him back down for another kiss.
This time she was the one that did the exploring with her tongue and when she felt him settle between her legs, she moaned quietly in the back of her throat. She slowed the kisses down and then wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She felt his warm breath in her ear and she giggled softly when he growled. They stayed that way for a few minutes, lying together without saying a word, just soaking up the comfort each was offering the other.
After another moment or two she softly said, "I should probably go check on dinner. Everyone will be here soon."
He nodded against her shoulder then scooted off the bed. When he stood up he held his hand out to her and helped her off the bed. "I love you, Isabella, so fucking much," he told her as he laid his hand on her cheek.
She laid her soft hand over his and smiled at him. "I know, Edward, and I love you, too."
"I know."
He watched her walk out of the room and then turned to look in the corner, not surprised in the least to see the annoying angel person smirking at him.
"Enjoy the show?" Edward asked with a roll of his eyes and grunted when he heard the booming laugh that shook the windows.
"You, my friend, are in quite the good mood," Seth casually remarked.
"Ha, well we'll see how long that lasts once everyone gets here," Edward scoffed as he finished getting dressed.
"Well, I'd be willing to bet you'll feel even better once the night is over, Eddie. This is it you know? The last of what you need to accomplish; that has to make you feel good, yes?" the angel asked with a raised eyebrow.
Edward attached his watch to his wrist and then ran his fingers over the friendship bracelet he'd yet to take off. He thought about bullshitting the angel but then realized there was no point. The damn bossy being always seemed to know when he was being less than truthful anyway. "No, actually, it really doesn't to be honest with you. What would happen if I didn't talk to Carlisle and Esme, or Emmett...could I just drag this...whatever it is, out indefinitely?" he asked when he sat on the bed to tie his shoes.
"Nice try, Eddie my boy, but no, unfortunately it doesn't work quite that way." Seth chuckled at him.
Edward sat up and stared at the angel. Today he was dressed in a pair of khaki dress pants a white button-down and a brown sport coat. On his feet were a pair of brown wingtips and he couldn't help but laugh at the otherworldly being. He had a thought that the pain in the ass angel wore the God-awful shoes just to get a rise out of him.
After another moment of looking at him Edward said, "Well, you can't blame me for trying."
Seth regarded Edward, trying to figure out what was going on with him. For someone who was about to have one the most difficult discussions of his life on top of dealing with why it needed to be done in the first place, he was incredibly calm; much more so than Seth ever expected. He figured not only would a stern talking to be in order, but he assumed a glass or three of angelic scotch combined with some of his mumbo jumbo would be needed as well. The Edward Anthony Cullen in front of him was not what he expected, not at all.
"What the hell is going on with you?" Seth demanded when he couldn't take not knowing any longer.
Oh, he would pay for that slip, he knew, when he returned to Gideon and the others, but he had a feeling Edward was keeping something from him, something important and he didn't like it, not one little bit.
Edward tried to keep the self-satisfied grin off his face, but that only lasted for about two point two seconds before he laughed. "Sucks doesn't it?" he tauntingly asked.
"Edward Anthony, this is most definitely not the time to be playing games, and certainly not with me," the angel said sternly which caused his charge to laugh even harder.
"Who's playing games?" Edward asked in a falsely innocent voice.
Edward was thoroughly enjoying himself even though he supposed he needed to get serious. However, he was having too much fun to stop, at least just yet. It had taken some time, but he'd finally gotten the best of Seth and he was going to enjoy it for as long as possible, that was for damn sure.
He wasn't sure, exactly, why he wasn't freaking out over the impending conversation, but he wasn't. Ever since he'd told Isabella, that same sensation he'd felt at the theater during the final act, the one in which he somehow knew everything would be okay, had settled over him like a warm blanket. Between the unforgettable night he and Isabella shared after the confrontation with Vincent, all the talk of naming Isabella his successor at CP, and then the past few days when the angel had let him be, he hadn't had a chance to ask about what had happened to him last week. When the feeling came back, Edward decided to keep it to himself. Why? He had no idea, but he just knew it was something meant for him and him alone. He had no idea what it meant or why it was happening, but he didn't really care. After all that had happened to him and all that he'd had to accept on faith, what did one more thing really matter? All he knew was that though he was a bit nervous about how everyone would respond to his revelations, everything would be fine.
He just knew it.
Isabella believed it and he had no reason to doubt her. He would never do that again, not after everything she'd done for him.
"Oh, relax, Seth," Edward chuckled again, "things will be just fine," he said cheekily.
"Who the hell are you and where is the real Edward Cullen?" the angel asked with a shake of his head.
He had no clue what was going on with Edward but he supposed as long as he was calm, he shouldn't rock the boat. Besides, much like with some of the cryptic comments Gideon had said in passing lately, he couldn't help but feel that something else was at play, he just didn't know what it was.
Edward walked to the door and looked back at the for once stunned speechless angel and asked, "You coming?"
"Don't push me, boy," Seth growled loudly and the rumble sounded like thunder. "You might think you can pull one over on me but I promise you, I'll figure out what you're up to."
"You think so, huh?" Edward asked, totally not afraid of the threat.
Seth's eyes twinkled at his young charge. "I know so. Besides, it's time for you to answer the door. Company has arrived." He grinned then disappeared.
"Damn angel," Edward snickered and then quickly went down the stairs to open the door.
When he passed the entrance to the kitchen he couldn't help but smile at his beautiful wife. "I've got it, love. Do you need any help?" he asked quickly.
"No, besides I would bet that is Mama and Nonna and they'll try to kick me out of my own kitchen anyway," she said with a roll of her eyes.
He gave her a wink and when he approached the front door, sure enough, there were the Swans just like his brilliant wife guessed.
"Edward, son, so good to see you!" Charlie said in a loud, boisterous voice as soon as Edward opened the door. He stepped forward and gave his son-in-law a fierce hug and then strode into the house, followed by Renée and Nonna after they'd said hello to Edward as well.
Charlie couldn't help but look around with wide eyes, for it had been some time since they'd been invited to Isabella's and Edward's house. He wasn't sure what the occasion was for the invitation today either, but he was happy to be here.
"Bambola!" he cried when his daughter walked out of the kitchen. He noted right away that she first looked at Edward with a worried look and he chuckled when Edward rolled his eyes at her and then gave a small nod. Whatever was going on, it was clear this was more Edward's doing than his daughter's which immediately piqued his curiosity.
Edward laughed softly when Renée and Nonna walked straight into the kitchen with barely more than a hello for Isabella. He was extremely grateful for his wife's concern but he hoped she would try to enjoy herself as much as possible. When they'd first talked about how to handle telling the rest of the family they decided to have everyone over for dinner and then tell them all at once. It would be excruciating enough to say it again after he'd told Isabella; he most definitely did not want to have to repeat it numerous times afterward if he could help it.
She had hesitated though when he mentioned inviting her family as well as his, along with Jasper, Alice, Marcus, and Alec. Like he'd told her, they were all a family and it was way past time for them all to act like it. He loved Charlie, Renée, and Nonna, very much, and they had just as much right to know what had happened to him as the rest of them did. He and Charlie were closer than ever and spent a good deal of time together with and without Isabella's presence or even knowledge. They'd had lunch together at least once a week since her birthday and Charlie and Renée hadn't missed one of Jack's baseball games yet. In all honesty, he was closer to Charlie than he had ever been to Carlisle. A part of him felt horribly guilty about that fact, but the other was just extremely grateful for his father-in-law's unwavering support and guidance.
So yes, the Swans had just as much reason to be there as any of the rest of them.
After Edward and Charlie were able to visit for a few minutes, everyone else arrived. Edward had to chuckle to himself when they all realized how many people were there and he could see the questions in everyone's eyes, but decided to just let it go and enjoy himself as best he could. He wasn't sure, but with the exception of his and Isabella's reception, he couldn't recall another time when they'd all been at the same place at the same time.
It was an oversight Edward vowed to fix in however much time he had left.
He introduced Marcus and Alec to Charlie, Renée and Nonna again and laughed heartily when both blushed profusely when Renée kissed them and when Nonna told Alec she had the perfect girl for him within five minutes of meeting him. Somehow, he didn't even doubt her.
Charlie, Carlisle, and Emmett were happily discussing Jack's last baseball game and Rose, Esme, and Alice were all talking about some new restaurant they wanted to try. As he looked around the room he was struck with how different everyone was but how they all seemed to mesh perfectly. He supposed it was what being a family was all about. He held his hand out and smiled when Isabella slid her tiny soft hand in his. He'd known she was there, he could feel her just like he always could, but ever since the other night it was if their bodies called out to the other's if they were apart too long.
"Should be an interesting night," he said quietly when he lifted their joined hands to his mouth and pressed a wet open-mouthed kiss to the inside of her wrist.
"You don't have to tell them all tonight, you know that, right? We can just eat dinner and visit and no one would be the wiser," she told him as she searched his face for any sign of trepidation and was more than a bit surprised when she found none.
This time instead of kissing her wrist, he kissed her lips and then rested his lips against hers when he said, "Beautiful, thank you for being worried about me, but really, I'm ready for this. I promise I am."
"I'll be right beside you the whole time," she told him quietly, holding his face in her hands.
He nodded and gave her her smile. "I know. It's the only reason I know I can do it."
Dinner was a raucous affair. Between Emmett, Charlie, and Alec everyone was laughing so hard it was a wonder anyone was able to eat any of the delicious food Isabella had fixed. Not wanting to spend all day in the kitchen, mostly because she couldn't bear to be away from Edward that long, she'd decided to make three pans of lasagna, homemade garlic bread and Caesar salad. She'd also made cheesecake brownies for dessert and planned on making cappuccino to have along with it, mostly because it was his favorite he knew.
Once everyone was finishing up their dinner he leaned over and kissed Isabella on the cheek. "Are you going to be okay? I know this is going to be as hard for you as it is for me."
"If you're sure you want to do this, then I'm doing it with you," she told him when she turned to look at him.
He rested his forehead against hers and whispered, for what seemed like the thousandth time, "I love you. Thank you for...everything."
"I wish you would stop saying thank you, Edward. I'm not doing anything besides loving you and supporting you. It's...it's just what I do," she said with a shrug of her delicate shoulders.
"Well, what you do is incredible, so I guess I'll just leave it at that," he said with a grin. He took a deep breath and quietly said, "Here we go."
She nodded in encouragement and reached for his hand, entwining their fingers together. He smiled at her before he stood up. When he did so the conversation slowly came to a halt and he shook his head when everyone stared at him expectantly.
"Yo, Ed, you getting ready to make a speech or something?" Emmett asked from the other side of the table.
Edward looked down at Isabella before answering. "Something like that, Em." He reached for his glass of wine and took a drink before clearing his throat a couple of times. As much as he was looking forward to getting through the night, finding a way to start the conversation was causing him a bit of trouble.
Thankfully, he was saved by his brother. "What's going on, Edward? As great as it is to all get together, I have a feeling there is a reason."
Emmett had enjoyed himself thoroughly all night, but ever since he'd arrived he'd had a nervous feeling in his stomach. He watched Edward closely and though he had smiled and laughed a good deal during dinner, he knew his brother well enough to know that there was a reason they were all there tonight. He only hoped whatever it was, it wasn't bad.
Edward took a moment to look all around the table and everyone pretty much had the same look of expectation mixed with a bit of worry, too. He shifted from foot to foot for just a few seconds before he took a deep breath and said, "Why don't we all go into the living room where everyone will be more comfortable? This is liable to take a little while."
"Edward?" Esme asked worriedly before everyone started to move.
"Mother, please. I'll explain everything in just a few moments. This is a good thing, I promise," he told her softly.
With that everyone left the table and found a place to sit in the living room. Isabella refused to let go of his hand, knowing that he would need her strength to make it through what was about to happen. She moved an ottoman in front of the fireplace so that the two of them could see everyone and pulled Edward down beside her. Even though they all were looking at her and Edward, she took the time to whisper softly to him, "You can do this, sweetheart. I'll be right by your side, okay?"
He didn't say anything but he nodded and rested his lips against her forehead briefly before turning to look at a sea of very expectant faces. "I know all of you have been wondering what has been going on with Isabella and me over the past few days, especially after my behavior for the few days preceding our self-imposed lock down. So let me start by apologizing to Emmett, Jasper, Alec, and Marcus especially for acting like such an ass at the office."
"Nothing really all that new there, Edward," Jasper said good-naturedly and Edward was grateful when everyone chuckled at his statement.
"Jas, as much as I would like to disagree with you, I can't and that kind of brings me to why Isabella and I asked you all here tonight," he told his best friend before looking from face to face.
He took a very shaky, nervous breath and began slowly. "In all actuality, I owe everyone in this room an apology for acting the way I have toward each and every one of you. I don't have an excuse for my behavior, though I suppose I have a reason. Thanks to the love and never-ending support of my amazing wife, I'm finally ready to tell you all what that reason is."
"Edward," Esme cried out softly. Her heart was beating frantically in her chest as she stared at him with wide eyes.
Carlisle immediately wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. He was in shock, utterly speechless as he looked at his son. When they'd gotten the invitation for dinner he wondered what was going on but never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that Edward was ready to share his past with all of them. He watched Isabella squeeze Edward's hand and when Edward looked down at her and smiled, he had never been more grateful for his daughter-in-law than he was at that moment.
"Mother, this has been a long time coming; you and I and everyone in this room knows that. I've kept things from you for far too long and it's time to tell you everything so we can all move past it and be a true family. I want to do this," Edward said and took another deep breath.
He pulled Isabella's hand onto his lap and looked at their joined fingers before he began. "I know most, if not all, of you have assumed that my childhood was...not good, but I'm quite sure none of you know exactly how bad it was. I'm not sure exactly where to start so I guess the beginning is as good a place as any. Um...from the time I was little, well for as long as I can remember, I was on my own. I may have had a mother and a father, and I may have had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and clothes to wear, but that was about it. It seemed as if the moment I started school when I was five, it was up to me to get myself dressed, make my own breakfast and lunch, and pretty much anything else."
He heard the soft gasps from everyone fill the room and when he looked at Esme, she was already crying. "Mother, I know this is going to be difficult for you to hear," he told her apologetically.
"I just don't understand, Edward. What do you mean you had to take care of yourself? Where was Maggie? Where was Liam?" Esme asked after she wiped her eyes.
Edward could feel his eyes narrow as he thought about the man that gave him life. He wasn't sure he could ever refer to Liam as his father because the man damn sure never knew what the meaning of that word was. He shrugged his shoulders in answer to her question. "Around I guess," he stated bitterly. "It was fairly obvious early on that he never wanted to be a father. Maybe my mother threatened him, though I highly doubt it. I would imagine she begged to have a baby and he gave in...I really have no idea. What I do know is that for as long as he was alive, I can probably count on one hand, maybe two if I thought hard enough, the number of times the man had a conversation with me."
"Edward, son, surely that can't be entirely accurate?" Carlisle asked, hoping beyond hope that Edward was just exaggerating, at least somewhat, because the thought of what he just said being true, pierced his heart and left him with a burning pain.
As easy as it would have been to take that comment the wrong way, Edward understood immediately where Carlisle was coming from. "Actually, Carlisle, it is. I know it's hard to believe, but to my...to Liam I was nothing more than an afterthought.
"The fact of the matter is this, I grew up in a house that wasn't a home. I had parents who acted like I didn't even exist. I was making my own dinner by the time I was five, granted the best I could do was peanut butter and jelly or a bowl of cereal, but it was food at least. By the time I was ten, I learned how to work the washing machine so I could at least have clean clothes to wear to school. There were no birthday presents, no Christmas presents, no Thanksgiving dinners...ever," he said in a sad voice.
"Do you know," he went on and he wasn't sure if he was talking more to himself or to the others. Now that the floodgates had been opened he had so many buried memories rushing to the surface. "I can't even tell you with certainty what my...Liam did for a living. I know he worked at some import/export business but I can remember hearing bits and pieces of conversations between him and my mother that made it seem like he did something totally different. After talking with Isabella the other night and remembering things I hadn't thought about in a long time it's almost like the two of them lived this whole separate life that I wasn't a part of, not that I was a part of it anyway."
"Edward," Jasper asked in a pained voice. Even hearing just the little bit he had, he already understood his friend so much better. "What did you do about getting to and from school, about homework and stuff like that?"
Edward shrugged his shoulders and said, "I walked and I did it myself. Luckily for me I guess I was a pretty smart kid and from a really early age spent a lot of time reading in the library or at home. I didn't have anyone to talk to, so...I read."
"No wonder you were so far ahead of everyone when you came to Chicago," Esme said softly.
"What about friends, neighbors, Edward? Didn't anyone help you?" Charlie asked in a gruff voice.
"I didn't have any friends because I learned early on the only person I could rely on was myself. I'm sure if I would have asked someone for help I would have gotten it, but I didn't trust anyone to help me. If my own parents didn't think I warranted enough to be concerned about me, why would I think anyone else would care? Now, of course, I realize that is wrong. Well, let me amend that," he said and looked at Isabella. "I'm learning that has never been the case."
"Edward, if I had known," Esme started but Edward held up his hand to stop her.
"You didn't and there is no way you could have either. By the time I came to live with you, Carlisle, and Emmett I'd already pretty much just shut down. I tried over and over and over again to be enough, to matter enough to the two people who should have loved me more than anyone, all to no avail. It seemed like no matter how much I excelled at school or even when I acted out to get attention, nothing affected them. Their sole focus was on each other; nothing and nobody else mattered, not even their son," he finished and took a painful breath.
"What about Maggie? Edward, she was your mother; surely she didn't treat you the same as...as Liam did?" Esme questioned, desperate to hear that her sister couldn't possibly have treated her own son in such a way.
"It was different, but she did. In some ways, it was worse than the way he treated me only because there were a few times when she acted like she cared about me. She'd make double chocolate chip cookies for me to have after school," he said and then smiled knowingly at Isabella. "Or she'd watch cartoons with me on Saturday mornings, or at least she would until he got up and wanted breakfast. Her attention never lasted for long and Liam always came first, no matter what."
"Ed, didn't you play sports or anything like that? Do anything for fun?" Emmett asked in a heartbroken voice.
Edward sighed and hung his head, remembering the day he arrived in Chicago and how excited his little brother had been at having him there, and how sad he looked the next morning after Edward had torn down all of the posters off the wall. "I asked...him...to teach me how to play baseball when all the other boys started playing, but he never did. I was already getting picked on because of other...things; I thought if I played baseball like everyone else did, maybe I wouldn't get teased so much," he answered Em when he'd picked his head back up.
He watched as Emmett's eyes grew wide as he remembered. "No wonder you hated those posters so damn much. You sure annihilated them; all that was left was the tiny pieces of paper still attached to the thumbtacks," he said quietly.
"I'm really sorry, Emmett," Edward told him, apologizing for hurting his feelings all those years ago. "There was no way you could have known but I never should have done that, either."
Emmett waved off Edward's apology, but only because it wasn't needed. Rosalie reached over and ran her hand up and down her husband's back. She could feel his agony for Edward rolling off of him in waves, not that she blamed him in the least.
"Edward," she said not stilling her comforting movements, "you said you got picked on, how do you mean?"
She noticed immediately that both Isabella and Edward tensed at her question and that Isabella scooted even closer to Edward than before. Edward let go of the hand he held in his lap and wrapped an arm around her, almost protectively she thought and when Isabella looked up at him and had tears in her eyes, she got a sick feeling in her stomach.
With everything that Edward had told her about his childhood and his parents, what he was about to share had been, by far, the hardest thing for Isabella to deal with. She wasn't a mother, but she hoped to be one day, and couldn't bear to think of treating a child the way Maggie had treated Edward. She had been angry before in her life, but she had never felt the burning hatred she felt for the woman that had given birth to her Edward. As far as she was concerned, it was the only redeeming thing about the woman, and she used that term very loosely.
Bitch.
That was the description she found herself using more and more often whenever she thought about Maggie, and she found herself more and more comfortable using the word that was completely out of character for her, but really, was there another way to describe her? She supposed she could precede bitch with selfish, horrible, fucking, and all would work, but bitch worked just fine on its own, too. She looked at Esme and gave her a sad smile. What Edward was about to tell everyone would certainly shatter any hope Esme had of her sister being the girl she remembered.
"Well, Rose," Edward started somewhat wearily. "Up until about the time I was twelve or so, I suppose I was a little on the small side. I guess because of that, or let's be honest, because my mother didn't pay attention, she thought that because I was small I didn't need new clothes. I liked to read; I didn't play sports; I kept to myself because I didn't have any friends, so I was a prime target for the bullies at my school. For the most part," he said and then swallowed thickly. Isabella lifted her arm and wrapped it around his waist holding him as tight as she could. He knew she struggled with this part of his childhood and he hated making her listen to it again, but he didn't have a choice.
"For the most part," he began again, "the teasing mostly stayed to knocking my books out of my hands, picking me last in PE class, mean notes shoved in my locker and things like that. Every now and then I'd get tripped in the hallway or get my lunch stolen, but it wasn't too bad," he said mirthlessly. "When my clothes started getting too tight and too short because I started to grow, the teasing turned nastier and happened more often. One day I got cornered on the way home from school and a group of boys beat me up pretty badly. Bloody nose, split lip, torn clothes, things like that," he continued in a monotone voice. "When I got home, I knew my...father wouldn't care about what happened, but I figured my mom would. I mean what mom wouldn't be upset at seeing her son beat to shit?"
"Edward, no," Esme whispered in an anguished voice.
Her stomach was twisted in knots at the thought of her sister doing nothing to help her son, but from the way Edward sounded, she knew that was exactly what happened.
Edward looked sadly at the woman who was more a mother to him than his own had ever been and slowly nodded his head. "Neither she nor Liam did anything about it. They didn't contact the school or the other kids' parents, hell, they didn't even take me to a damn doctor. All my mother told me when I got home was to make sure I didn't get any blood on the floor and to make sure I cleaned myself up before my father got home from work so I didn't upset him," he said bitterly.
Isabella noticed that there was no sound in the room except for the soft cries of Esme, her mother, Nonna, and Rose. Poor Alice looked shell-shocked as she sat next to Jasper blinking rapidly but saying not a word. Emmett and Jasper looked like they wanted to murder someone, that was if her father and Carlisle didn't take care of it first. Marcus and Alec just looked...sick.
"Are you holding up okay?" she asked him quietly, though everyone was staring at them.
He nodded and let out a long exhale and tightened then relaxed his shoulders. Was he okay? As uncomfortable as he felt just then due to the topic, he really was. "I'm good. What about you, Beautiful? I know this is just as hard for you as for me," he whispered.
She nodded her head at him and felt her heart swell with so much pride for him. He was handling himself so well and making sure that everyone else wasn't overwhelmed by what he was saying. She knew there were a few more revelations he needed to share, but he was almost done.
The hardest ones were yet to come, though.
Edward cleared his throat so he could keep going. Now that he'd started, he just wanted to get it all out so he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. It wasn't like he didn't know there would be questions from everyone and he'd also realized that just because he finally shared his past, it wouldn't automatically fix everything and it would all magically just be okay, but he could tell that even though it had only been three days, both he and Isabella had healed so much and he hoped to give the rest of his family and friends the same sense of peace.
"As I got just a little bit older and grew just a little bit more, I guess somehow my parents decided that meant I was even more capable of taking care of myself. I would come home from school to find an empty house; no note; no dinner in the oven, nothing. Hell, I can remember more than a few times them being gone for an entire weekend without even letting me know where they were going or if they would be coming back," he finished on a shaky breath.
God, he could remember like it was yesterday the sinking feeling he'd get in his stomach as Friday turned to Saturday and then Sunday with no contact with his parents. They might have been awful parents, but he felt some sort of comfort knowing they were in the same house as him at least. Being all alone, not knowing when or if they were coming home was excruciating.
Which was why when Isabella left his office the other day and then came home so late he was in a state of terror. She'd felt horrible, of course, when he'd told her why he'd acted the way did, but she surely wasn't to blame. She would have known if he'd told her long ago.
"Edward, sweetie, what about school things like parent/teacher conferences or anything like that. Didn't your mother go to those? I don't know what school is like in Ireland, but I know when Isabella was little we had to meet with teachers and there were programs and plays and awards to attend all the time," Renée asked gently.
Edward smiled at his mother-in-law and felt how much she loved him. He knew what he was sharing would trouble her and Charlie and Nonna as well. The Swans were incredibly loving people, so there wasn't really much chance of them understanding his parents' behavior, not that any of them could really fathom it to begin with.
He shook his head at her question. "No, Renée. There was this one time," he began in a far away voice. "I had made it to the finals of a really big Science Fair and won. There was going to be this really big production where I was going to be presented with an award and there was going to be a ceremony for all the winners from all the different schools. I was so excited and ran home to tell my mom, well that, and some other news as well," he said with a smile when he glanced quickly at Isabella.
He'd told her all about the girl named Molly that he'd helped at school that one day and how he'd asked her to sit with him at lunch, too. He'd been so happy that day, so excited and when his teacher had told him about the award and the ceremony on top of sitting with the prettiest girl in the school, or so he thought, he'd run home full of news of the best day of his life only to have her completely ignore him and rush out to meet his father...again.
He also told Isabella that was the day that finally just pushed him over the edge and he shut down completely. He withdrew even more, spent even more time by himself, and even went so far as to find a corner in the library so he could eat lunch alone.
"Anyway," he began again. "I told my mom, who of course didn't pay any attention, but I kept reminding her after thinking that when the time came she would show up because she knew how important it was to me. I waited and waited and when it was time for each recipient to take a picture with their family's of course I didn't have anyone there. Talk about awkward," he scoffed and shook his head.
Isabella growled in the back of her throat and he brushed a kiss across her temple. "Down, tiger," he chuckled softly.
The topics of discussion were painful and brought up memories he'd have rather left buried, but he already felt so much better having shared his story one time and he could afford to try to lighten things up, if even a little bit, for his amazing wife.
There was a lull in the conversation and Carlisle shifted uneasily on the couch beside his wife. Everything he'd heard thus far this evening had been eye-opening but there were still a few questions he hoped Edward would answer. For twenty-plus years he'd dealt with the fact that there were things he'd never asked, mostly because he didn't want to know, he now recognized. When he and Esme arrived in Dublin when they'd received news of Maggie's death and found out Liam was also dead, they'd rushed to Edward's aid. Between completing complicated paperwork and expediting Edward's adoption, there had been very little time to concentrate too much on Liam and Maggie. It was avoidance, plain and simple, Carlisle knew both then and now, and he couldn't help but wonder how different things might have been if only he and Esme had pushed instead of pulled back.
"Son, will you tell us what happened to Liam and Maggie?" he beseeched.
He watched as Edward and Isabella huddled close with their heads bent toward the other. They whispered back and forth for a few minutes, totally oblivious to the rest of them in the room. He felt a twinge of jealousy flare up at the realization that she knew more than he did and he was Edward's father, but immediately tamped that down after silently admitting he hadn't been much of one to the man across from him. Not only that, with an almost suffocating amount of guilt, he also had to admit that he hadn't ever shown Edward the unconditional love and support that Isabella did either.
He definitely could learn a lesson or ten from his incredible daughter-in-law, no question about it.
"I'm not sure I can do this, Beautiful," Edward whispered softly to her. He'd lowered his head and leaned it against hers, trying to calm the stampede of elephants in his stomach.
Isabella rubbed comforting circles on his back and said softly, "You can, Edward. You're doing so great and it's almost over. Everyone has tiptoed around this subject for twenty years, sweetheart; it's time to give them the answers and then lay it to rest."
"But, Esme...Carlisle..." he started but she picked up her other hand and gently laid her fingers over his lips.
"Shhh," she said. "No more excuses. You can do this, I know you can."
Edward closed his eyes tightly, so tight he saw stars behind his eyelids and then exhaled through his nose. He'd known this question would come up but he was no more ready to talk about it now than he'd been when he told Isabella three days ago. He'd kept it all buried for twenty years; there was a reason for that.
"Okay," he said and swallowed before turning to Carlisle. "You have to remember, I was only fourteen-years-old when everything happened so I was pretty much in the dark as far as information about Liam. Right before he...died, I remember hearing him and my mom talking at all hours of the night. I couldn't really understand what they were saying, but both of them sounded nervous. I also remember thinking it was weird that they stayed home more than usual, but they did. Night after night they'd sit in the living room whispering and arguing back and forth, and if I walked past the room, they'd immediately stop talking until I left again. I only heard bits and pieces and it was never enough to get a grasp on what was going on. They were both tense, I can tell you that, but that's about it."
He took a deep breath and looked at Isabella for a moment, really needing her encouragement to go on. "One night...the night...I only remember a few things, but the most clear memory I have is hearing my mom scream and then the sound of her body hitting the floor when she'd fainted. I had been upstairs in my room reading and I knew Liam had gone out but for some reason, my mom had stayed home. It was pretty late at night, I remember, but I didn't sleep much so I was still up when I heard the knock on the door. I went downstairs and immediately saw two police officers standing in the open doorway trying to help her up off the ground. They both looked shocked to see me but as soon as they started to talk, my mom started coming to. We got her on the couch and when she was finally all there, she was...hysterical. I didn't understand what she was saying, and all I could hear was 'he's gone' over and over again. Finally one of the officers looked at me and told me that my father had been killed. He didn't tell me much, only that Liam had apparently been walking home and been attacked in an alley between his office and our house. They started asking my mom a bunch of questions, most of which I didn't understand but they made me nervous. I heard questions about enemies, if she knew of anyone that would want to hurt him or her, if he'd been acting strange lately, if we'd gotten strange telephone calls...all of which should have been answered with a yes, but she just sat there and stared off into space, muttering under her breath. Now I know she was in shock, but of course I had no idea what was happening to her back then. I remember I cried, only because I was scared of what would happen to us without him. The police officers left and I heard them say something to her about having to make a statement but she didn't even move until after they'd closed the door."
Edward kissed the side of Isabella's head and stood up, needing to move to get through this next part. He hated losing the feel of her next to him, but he had so much pent up energy racing through him, he felt like he could fall apart at any time. Charlie took one look at his daughter, whose eyes never left Edward's as he paced around like a caged lion, and then slid from the couch and sat down next to her, wrapping a strong arm around her shoulders. She didn't stop watching Edward, but he did feel her pat his hand in acknowledgment.
Edward shot Charlie a very grateful smile when he noticed he'd taken his place beside Isabella.
Once he'd paced back and forth a few more times and realized no one had made a sound of any sort for quite some time, he turned back toward everyone. He stared anxiously at Esme who he could tell was just barely holding it together. He frowned quickly, because though he knew she needed to hear what happened, he was certain the truth was going to be worse than anything she had imagined.
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