Tuesday, November 7, 2000

Chapter 1

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Chapter 1
"You'd better enjoy that scotch while you can," said the man next to Edward. "I've been told you don't have much longer to enjoy the finer things in this life, Edward Anthony Cullen."
"Excuse me? Do I know you?" Edward asked, startled by the use of his whole name.
Edward hadn't noticed anyone sitting next to him on the late afternoon flight from La Guardia to O'Hare. He glanced to his right and took in his companion for the short hour and a half trip. The man was huge, like NFL linebacker huge, with short brown hair and the bluest eyes Edward had ever seen. And they…twinkled? What the fuck? Edward thought surely he was seeing things because when he looked back at the man, his eyes looked like every other set of blue eyes he'd seen before. The man was expensively dressed. There was no doubting the Italian cut of the gray suit he wore or the costly, gleaming black Italian leather shoes the man had on his feet.
Edward knew precisely how much the shoes cost, he had the exact pair at home. Isabella had bought them just a few months before.
Isabella…Edward's wife of five years…five very long, often lonely years for both of them.
Edward picked up his glass and took a sip of the scotch. He shuddered as the liquid burned his throat going down. The stuff was mediocre at best, but that was what he got for flying commercial, he thought to himself.
Damn last minute meeting, Edward cursed to himself again. He'd had to make the emergency trip to meet with a disgruntled client. Thinking back over the reason for the meeting had him gritting his teeth in frustration. Incompetent fools, he thought.
"My name is Seth," the large man told Edward in a voice that seemed to fill the entire cabin of the plane. In fact, the voice was so loud he cringed in response but as he looked around, Edward noticed that no one else was affected. Not one person even glanced their way.
As soon as that thought registered with him, his stomach roiled and he cursed the spicy Mexican food he'd eaten for lunch.
Edward very pointedly ignored the obnoxiously loud beast of a man and thought to himself that the best way to get through the flight home would be to just pretend his seat mate was not there.
"I'm an angel," the man named Seth said, then continued, "in fact, I'm your own personal guide to the afterlife. You have a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it, so I've been sent to help you along."
Edward shook his head and signaled for the flight attendant. Surely he didn't hear what he just thought he did, he lamely tried to convince himself. He smiled as she approached. Edward Cullen had been using his natural born magnetism and charisma since before he knew what those two words meant to get what he wanted, especially from members of the opposite sex. This time was no different. He was going to demand to change his seat but when she approached and asked what he needed, the words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat.
When he glanced to his right to point out what his problem was there was no one there. What the hell? So instead, Edward asked for a refill of his drink.
He felt his stomach churn again and seriously thought about suing the restaurant for serving food that made people hallucinate because there was no way in hell what he thought just happened, really happened. It wasn't possible.
"She can't see me, Eddie. In fact, no one but you has the pleasure of knowing of my existence. You should count yourself extremely fortunate," the deep, rich voice said.
The flight attendant returned with his drink and handed it to him with a bashful smile and a blush on her cheeks. The poor woman's reaction to Edward was something that he was quite used to, and he chuckled to himself when her breathing picked up when he smiled back at her.
So totally predictable, Edward mused silently, forgetting momentarily the invisible presence to his right. Well, pointedly trying to ignore whatever was going on next to him would be more precise. He picked up the glass and took another tentative sip of the amber liquid. He shuddered again and set the glass down in frustration.
How fucking hard was it to serve a decent scotch on this damn flight? Edward haughtily thought to himself. Again he cursed the meeting and the fact he was unable to take the company jet to New York City. Especially since his brother, Emmett, and his wife Rosalie, along with their children, were currently comfortably ensconced in it, while he was drinking barely palatable scotch and hearing voices after eating what seemed to be spoiled Mexican food.
"That bad, huh?" the large man asked from his seat on Edward's right. Seth chuckled and then waved his hand over the amber liquid. "See if that's better," he said with a point of his chin in Edward's direction.
Edward rolled his eyes, not wanting to play along with his mysterious flight companion, but he picked the glass up and took a tentative sip to appease him. None of this was really happening anyway, Edward thought as he tried valiantly to convince himself.
It was delicious. His mouth exploded as the liquid flowed over his tongue and down his throat. He was immediately flooded with warmth and the taste reminded him of Isabella. Soft, smooth, enticing. It was the best thing he had ever tasted and he wanted more of it. Immediately. He wished to taste the exquisite elixir every day for the rest of his life, if he could.
"What brand is this?" Edward demanded of the man to his right, and Seth just shook his head in response.
"It can't be bought, no matter how much money you have," Seth told him and Edward again felt a stab of…something in his stomach.
Those words seemed to carry another meaning altogether but he wasn't able to pinpoint exactly what.
It was late afternoon and a summer storm was brewing outside the plane's windows and lightning flashed dangerously close to the aircraft. If his damn plane wouldn't have been delayed in New York, he'd be on the ground right now, ahead of the storm, Edward thought to himself, and cursed his brother…again.
"What the hell do you want?" he demanded of the big man, tired of playing whatever game he was unwittingly a part of.
"I don't want anything, Edward Anthony Cullen. Like I said, my job, as it was put forth to me, is to help you get your life, such as it is, in order before it is your time to go," Seth told Edward.
"Go where?" Edward asked the Seth person…being. Whatever the hell he was.
Seth shrugged his shoulders at Edward and said, "Wherever it is you believe your soul goes after you die."
"You're telling me I'm going to die soon?" Edward asked Seth incredulously. "Impossible," he went on. "I'm young. I'm in perfect health. I have more money than I can spend in this lifetime, probably more than I can spend in ten lifetimes. I am a powerful man. I can have what I want, when I want. I am not going to die anytime soon," he stated emphatically.
Seth shrugged his shoulders at Edward and regarded him shrewdly. "Big deal, Eddie. You are rich and powerful. You think the world should bow at your feet and you have no time for those you have deemed unworthy of you. But you can't have everything you want. You can't buy immortality and you can't buy the affections of your lovely Isabella either."
At the mention of his bride's name, Edward felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his chest. In fact, the pain was localized right where his heart was. Edward gaped at Seth as he tried to rub the pain away to no avail. Seth watched Edward as he futilely attempted to ease the ache and waited until he said, "Make it stop. Please!" Seth waved his massive hand again and the pain ceased.
"What the hell was that?" Edward challenged, somewhat afraid of what was happening to him. He couldn't dispute the pain he'd just felt and he couldn't deny that there was …something going on that he didn't quite understand.
Seth turned his blue eyes and Edward cringed from the intensity he saw there. Suddenly, he was very afraid.
"That, Edward Anthony Cullen," Seth bellowed in such a voice that Edward felt it in his bones, "was only a brief, albeit painful reminder of the pain you have caused our Isabella. I have to tell you in all honesty, Eddie my boy, you are one giant piece of excrement."
The lightning outside the airplane continued to crackle and flash, and Edward suddenly felt like he was falling apart. It was as if he were a piece of glass slammed up against a brick wall, shattering into unrecognizable pieces as they fell to the ground. One more brilliant flash of light burned brightly, and then the plane lurched and began to fall. Trays and belongings began to fly through the aircraft as the pilot tried valiantly to right the large piece of machinery.
Seth sat docilely beside Edward as Edward was pitched forward against his seat belt. Edward's life began to flash before his eyes and it was not a pretty sight in the least. He didn't care; he just wanted it to stop. If that meant it was his time to go now, so be it. But after a few moments, he realized he did care.
He cared a lot.
He closed his eyes to try to halt the onslaught of images, but it was a wasted effort. Moment after moment after miserable moment he relived in vivid clarity and it was…painful. So much regret; so many wasted opportunities.
"Save me!" Edward begged the so-called angel to his right and after a brief moment of scrutiny by the big man, Seth raised his eyebrows and smirked as the plane suddenly righted itself and began on its course toward Chicago again.
Edward gasped for breath and looked around the first class cabin taking note of his fellow passengers as they sat, still sleeping or talking softly amongst themselves, as if nothing had just happened. He tried to take a few deep breaths and eventually he felt his heart beating a normal rhythm again.
"Nice fake with the almost crash," Edward snarled at Seth.
Seth waved his hand dismissively and told Edward, "Not a fake at all, Eddie. It is what would have happened had I not been here to intervene. Someone thinks you are worth saving. I seriously have my doubts, but who am I to argue?" The angel shrugged his shoulders and gazed at him.
Edward shook his head in disbelief. This could not be happening…could it? There was no way that he, Edward Cullen, multimillionaire and heir to the Cullen fortune, even though it was only because of a stroke of good luck, could be sitting in the first class section of an airplane that an angel had saved from certain peril.
"What the hell is going on here?" Edward muttered to himself and he felt that same falling apart sensation he had just moments before.
He was not used to the feelings currently coursing through his body, and he didn't like it at all. He was Edward Cullen, damn it. He was CEO of the country's largest publishing firm and at thirty-five he was the youngest by far. Cullen Publishing was the most prestigious firm in the country and he had been in charge for over five years now. He had a beautiful home in Evanston and enjoyed the finer things in life whenever he chose to do so. Isabella was a perfect wife; she was nice to look at, kept an immaculate home, and left him to do as he pleased. He enjoyed having her, and even though she had held firm to her belief that she would not sleep with him before they were married, she was an astonishingly satisfying bed partner.
"What do you want?" Edward asked again of the man he was slowly beginning to believe was exactly who, and what, he said he was, no matter how extraordinary that belief was.
Seth smiled at Edward, a bright, engaging smile in all matter-of-fact, and said simply, "What I want is irrelevant, Edward Anthony. I told you before and I'll say it again, I've been sent to help you fix the mess you've made of your life. You don't have much longer on this Earth. It is my job to help you, if it's possible, right as many of the wrongs as you can before your time is up."
"Why?" Edward asked, honestly curious as to why it was important to do such a thing.
The big man shrugged his broad shoulders and said, "Why not? Do you really want to leave this world and leave behind those you have wronged knowing you could have made things right with just a little bit of effort on your part?"
Edward sat back in his seat and thought for a moment. He winced as he remembered just a few of the memories that had just before flown through his mind.
"What exactly are we talking here?" he shrewdly asked, wanting to make sure what the parameters of this deal were before he agreed to it.
Not that he believed he was going to die anytime soon, mind you. However, if he were to meet with an untimely passing, Edward grudgingly admitted to himself that it would be nice to not feel like the bastard he believed himself to be when the time came. Introspection was definitely not one of his favorite past times, but even he couldn't deny the bitter taste that was left in his mouth after he watched his wretched life pass before his eyes.
Seth regarded Edward silently for a few moments and Edward was uncomfortable with the gesture. Usually it was he who did the staring, and he was quite good at it, too. One of his most enjoyable things to do was to watch others squirm in his presence.
How utterly pathetic, Edward ruminated to himself and shook his head sadly. So many damn regrets.
"It's simple really, Edward Anthony," the angel began. "I make suggestions, you follow them. When the end comes you will leave this world a much happier and peaceful being. Simple as that," Seth finished with a flourish and a snap of his massive fingers.
The sound was so loud that Edward had to cover his ears, but once again he was the only one affected and no one else noticed at all.
"What if you tell me to do something and I don't want to do it?" Edward asked as he thought about all the angles of this…deal or whatever the hell it was. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation. He really couldn't believe it, but after the things that just flashed in his mind, Edward was willing to accept Seth as who, and what he said he was. Dying was definitely not on his list of things he wanted to do, but the thought of ridding himself of the guilt and the self-loathing he carried around with him on a daily basis, was a most welcome thought.
The big man rolled his eyes at Edward. "Then you don't do it. Edward, you still have your free will. However, I highly doubt you will be saying no to me at all. If something comes up and you don't like it, we'll negotiate. Piece of cake," Seth stated.
Edward could not stop the shiver that went down his spine as the angel repeated the words he often used when he was trying to convince a client to sign on with his firm, and he usually used them when the client didn't want to do something.
"What kind of time line are we talking?" he asked, still not fully believing that he was having this particular conversation with a man that claimed to be an angel.
"I was not given a definitive answer to that question, Edward Anthony, but suffice it to say, you don't have time to waste trying to outmaneuver me. I've been around for a long, long, very long time, my young friend, and it will take someone who possesses even more talent than you to try to get me to say something I don't want to say. Nice try though. I give you props for the effort." Seth smirked at Edward.
Well shit, now what the hell do I do? Edward thought to himself as he ran his hands through the riotous bronze hair on top of his head. He closed his emerald green eyes and thought over the facts as he knew them. First, there was a large man sitting next to him that claimed to be an angel, or a being of some sort. Second, said being supposedly was sent to guide him and help him tie up loose ends before he died. That was a most unwelcome fact to consider, but it did need to be taken into account. Third, whatever that was a few minutes ago with the almost plane crash caused him to take a look at his life and admit he didn't like much of what he had seen.
Edward opened his eyes after taking a deep, somewhat calming breath and considered the Seth person for a few moments before he began to speak. "So we sign some sort of deal or what not?" he asked, wondering what exactly such a document would say.
"You are a man of your word are you not, Edward Anthony?" Seth replied back. "You may be a terrible employer, an even worse son, a horse's ass of a brother, and without a doubt, one of the most neglectful husbands ever. You don't seem to take to heart the wedding vows you spoke during your marriage ceremony, though at least you've somehow managed to remain faithful, but it can never be said that you backed out of a business deal. So in accordance with that, a handshake between the two of us will suffice."
Seth held his large hand out for Edward to shake and after a brief hesitation on Edward's part, he clasped his hand with Seth's and they shook.
Edward could not help but feel that he somehow had just agreed to much more than a promise to listen to the advice of an angel…um, being.
Shit, Edward thought. What the hell do I call the guy? I'm not sure I can go along with all this angel business, he thought to himself, but even he had to admit that the evidence that Seth was a being that possessed extreme talents was at the present, overwhelming in its totality.
As Edward and Seth sat in a mostly comfortable silence for a bit, Edward found himself more at peace than he could ever remember. He was filled with a feeling of calm and warmth that spread throughout his entire body and the feeling felt like it was unable to be contained. For the first time in a long while, he experienced what true joy, true happiness, and true love felt like. He had the overwhelming belief that everything would be okay, that he would be able to fix the mess of his life. It was not a welcome realization to fully comprehend the disaster his life was and had been, and the thought of being able to fix that filled him with a sense of completeness. It was the most amazing and intense thing he had ever felt and he never wanted the feeling to go away.
After a few more moments of bliss, the feeling gradually faded away and left behind only a lingering sensation that soothed him immensely.
Edward looked wide-eyed at Seth and asked, "Is that what it will feel like when I die?"
Seth chuckled and looked at Edward as if he were an adorable child instead of a thirty-five year-old man. "It's a hint, a mere blip of what awaits you if you are successful in digging yourself out of the mess you've created with your selfish and overbearing ways."
As Edward settled back in his seat, he smiled softly, and realized with a start, he couldn't wait to get home to see his wife.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~
Thirty thousand feet below the plane that currently housed her husband, Isabella looked up from her gardening and wondered about Edward's trip. She knew how upset he was at having to go and she hoped it had at least gone well. Maybe then he would be in a better mood by the time he arrived home.
As she dug her hands into the warm, moist soil she couldn't help but sigh as she thought about her husband. Isabella knew that she had seen a side of him he rarely let others see, and even then, they were only brief glimpses. Those glimpses, however, were enough to sustain her, enough for her to hold onto because she knew, without a doubt, that beneath his many layers there was a man that was worthy of her love and devotion. He was a difficult man, there was no disputing that, but she loved him.
Madly, passionately, irrevocably.
Isabella Swan Cullen had fallen head over heels in love with Edward Cullen the moment she saw him for the first time. She had been twenty-four at the time and had just graduated with top honors from Loyola University with a Masters Degree in Modern Literature. At the time, she had briefly considered continuing her education and completing the requirements to receive her Ph.D., but decided that she'd had enough of academics for the time being.
From the time Isabella was a little girl her mother, Renée, had instilled in her a love of reading that only grew over the years. There was hardly ever a time that Isabella didn't have a book at the ready. She devoured novels that were years ahead of her age before she was ten, and her voracious appetite for reading any and everything only grew stronger with time.
Her father, Charlie, insisted that his daughter be a well-rounded young woman so a compromise was made. Isabella could spend as much time reading as she wished, as long as she participated in extra curricular activities as well. Charlie was a pragmatic man and there was no way his only and most beloved daughter would become an outcast because she loved to read.
With some trepidation, Isabella decided she would try to play soccer. It wasn't that she was afraid to try, but the truth that was abundantly clear to anyone who had ever watched the young girl attempt anything that required coordination, was that Isabella lacked it…immensely. Much to everyone's surprise, most especially Charlie's, she was a picture of grace and agility on the soccer pitch. Put cleats on her feet and give her a ball to run with and she turned into a vision that enchanted all who watched her. Teammate, coach, spectator or opposition, it didn't matter. From the time Isabella started playing at the age of ten all the way through until she graduated from college as an undergrad, you could find her in one of two places. When she wasn't in the library studying or curled up with a book during her free time, she was on the soccer field practicing or playing.
Charlie, Renée, and Isabella lived in the suburbs of Chicago in Wheaton where Charlie was the Chief of Police. Renée owned a small art studio where you could find her giving pottery lessons and conducting art classes frequently. They were a solidly middle class, Catholic family and Isabella grew up in a happy, loving home with two parents that had no qualms about showing their affection for each other in front of their daughter. The only regret her parents had was Renée's inability to have more children after their daughter was born. Due to a complicated delivery that resulted in her mom hemorrhaging, the doctors and Charlie had to make a split second decision that resulted in a complete hysterectomy for Renée. After a brief period of depression for Isabella's mom as she came to terms with what happened to her, her parents focused their abundant love on their precious daughter.
Isabella was a brilliant child and her parents were so proud of the person their daughter was. She was well-loved by friends and teachers both, all throughout her schooling. She was kind, unfailingly polite and respectful and above all else, the most selfless person most would ever meet.
That is not to say that dear Isabella was a pushover, because nothing could be further from the truth. While she inherited her slightly reserved and pragmatic approach to most situations from her adored father, Isabella also inherited her mother's zest for life and with it, her mother's refusal to allow anyone to dictate to her who and what she should be. Once Isabella made a decision about something, it would take an act of Congress, at the very least, to get her to change her mind. You would be hard-pressed to find a person more stubborn than Isabella Marie Swan! Not only that, Isabella had a fiery temper when provoked. She didn't show it often, but once it came out, you'd never forget. She was passionate in all she did, whether it was her work, her faith, or her love for her husband. Isabella Swan Cullen was no shrinking violet, not by a long shot.
Between her mother and her Nonna, there was no way Isabella wouldn't have learned from early on to stand her ground and stand up for herself. Charlie had his hands full with the women in his life that was for sure, but he wouldn't have had it any other way. Nonna Santoro was a blessing and since the passing of his parents and Renée's father, Angelo, Gianna Santoro was the only family Charlie and Renée had left. The Italian matriarch was a welcome presence in all of their lives but especially to Isabella. The relationship she had with her Nonna was profound and incredibly special to them both.
Isabella lived a full, carefree life and she blossomed into a striking young woman by the time she entered high school. She enjoyed hanging out with her friends, much like any other girl her age, but she usually spent her Friday and Saturday nights either competing in soccer matches, watching her team's football games in the fall and baseball games in the spring with her father, or quietly reading or learning to cook from her Nonna.
Boys pursued her relentlessly, falling captive to her beauty as well as her wit and grace, but Isabella rebuffed them all. It wasn't that she didn't like them, for she had countless friends that were male, but Isabella approached romance the way she did with all other things in her life. She had no problems being friends with boys and even went on the occasional date to a movie or to dinner, but that was it. Until she found the man of her dreams, the one that would steal her heart and treasure it like the gift it was, friendly dates were as far as she was willing to go.
It was a bit old-fashioned, even Isabella would admit to that, but she couldn't help what she believed and more importantly, what she wanted. After watching her parents and listening to countless stories about her Nonna and her beloved Angelo, Isabella would settle for nothing less than a love that would last a lifetime.
So all through high school, college, and then graduate school, Isabella dated casually but protected her heart, and her virtue, until she was ready to give both to the man she would marry and spend her life with. As soon as she laid her deep, coffee-colored eyes on one Edward Cullen she knew unequivocally that he would be that man.
Her heart recognized its other half the instant she stepped into his office for an interview to be Cullen Publishing's newest editor. As a recent graduate, Isabella was lacking the practical experience such a position would normally require but everyone from Edward to his father and brother couldn't ignore the glowing recommendations that accompanied her résumé.
The instant attraction wasn't one-sided either. The moment Isabella Swan had walked into his office, Edward wanted her. She was beautiful, smart, and above all else, a conquest he was determined to enjoy.
Edward hired Isabella for her qualifications, but he admitted to himself during a brief moment of introspection, he also hired her because he couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her after their initial interview. There was something there, some foreign feeling that he was loathe and admittedly terrified to explore when it came to Isabella, but he knew from the first moment he saw her, he would have her.
Come hell or high water, he would have her.
Edward was so used to getting what he wanted because he wanted it; he never even gave it a moment's thought that Isabella Marie would be any different. How wrong that turned out to be! He learned quickly that the only way to win her heart was to be as open and honest as he was able to be. With her, he was different. With her, he felt as if he could let the mask fall and let her see the real him. He tried, and he succeeded. They took long walks through the park. They discussed history, politics, art, and music. He took her to the opera; she took him to the amusement park. When it was just the two of them, he was a completely different man than he was at other times and with other people. More often than not he was still guarded, he still hid behind his walls, but Isabella was able to see past them to see the man that lay beneath. Isabella tested him, often, and called him on his actions more times than he cared to admit. He was also reluctant to admit he rather enjoyed it as well.
Their marriage wasn't perfect, not by a long shot, but over the years Isabella had learned many things about her husband. When he was away from the office, when he relaxed and let his guard down, he was a completely different man. When he let himself go and just be in the moment with her, he was mesmerizing. It didn't happen often, mind you. More often than not Edward hid from her. She knew it and she even understood when he pulled away from her. She didn't know what haunted him so, what dark things he kept locked inside, but she knew they were there.
There was a deep and powerful connection between the two of them, some unexplainable, unseen force that drew them together even though it didn't make complete sense. Isabella couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but she felt it whenever she questioned what she was doing. Growing up with her loving parents, hearing stories about her Nonna and her Angelo gave her the role models of what she wanted from her own marriage. It was hard to admit at times that her marriage wasn't what she envisioned, but in all truthfulness whenever she pictured her future, she always saw Edward with her.
Besides, she really didn't have a choice in the matter. She loved Edward Cullen, fully and totally, faults and all.
The cell phone that rang in her pocket brought Isabella back to the present and after a brief conversation with her mother, she returned the phone to her pocket, sat back on her knees, and wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand. Isabella looked around her garden and couldn't help but smile at the large amount of work she'd been able to get done while Edward was away.
Isabella missed her husband, desperately so as a matter-of-fact. It would make him uncomfortable to acknowledge it however, but that didn't make it any less true. Edward and Isabella's marriage looked perfect to anyone who didn't look too closely. Isabella didn't doubt Edward's love for her, or at least as much as he would allow himself to feel for her, and she knew that she would never love anyone else for as long as she lived except for him.
She prayed daily that with time her love and patience would break through the impenetrable fortress Edward had buried his heart in. Isabella had faith that the day would come when he would allow himself to be happy, that he would allow her to show him how much she loved him. He'd done it before, even though he would withdraw from her afterward. Isabella knew Edward understood she loved him, but he was just unsure and afraid to let her in.
With a deep sigh, Isabella stood up and took off her gardening gloves. After she dusted off her favorite pair of well-worn jeans, she made her way into her picture perfect home where she would make another attempt, in a long line of hundreds, thousands, to show Edward, again, that she loved him.
As she ascended the stairs to shower and get ready for her husband she said a prayer and hoped today would be the day it would be answered.
~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~


1 comment:

  1. I am really excited by this new story. The first chapter is really interesting and I am looking forward to reading more.

    Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete