Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

Edward stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he heard Carlisle's voice. Instinctively he pulled Isabella closer to him, as if having her closer would somehow provide protection. Which of course she did. Edward had said very little to her over the years about his relationship, or lack thereof more specifically, with his adoptive parents, Carlisle especially. Edward still made a point to speak to Esme on a somewhat regular basis, though in all honesty, trying to remain close to her was in a way, even more difficult than Carlisle, if only because of the reminder it gave him of his mother.

He felt Isabella squeeze his hand when a few long moments had passed and he hadn't said anything and he looked at her and gave her a smile in thanks. Thanks for what he wasn't sure...for being his rock, for her support, because she was, as she'd always been, right by his side. He bent his head down and brushed a quick kiss along her cheek before he faced Carlisle.

"Hello, Carlisle," Edward said somewhat tersely.

He tried not to be annoyed, but he couldn't really help it. The last few days, since he'd told Isabella he'd loved her, had been mind-blowingly perfect. Almost too good to be true and Edward found himself quite often pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. It was easy he was finding to not think about all that dying business when the annoying angel wasn't hovering to remind him over and over about his limited time left with Isabella.

And now here was Carlisle, intruding on his happy day.

Fucking hell.

Edward glanced around quickly, knowing if Carlisle was there that surely meant Esme was as well, and when he looked toward the playground, sure enough, there she was pushing Emma on the swings.

Great.

Isabella felt the tension rolling off Edward in waves and wanting to keep him as happy and carefree as he'd been for the past week, she stepped forward to greet her father-in-law.

"Hi, Carlisle," she said brightly and kissed him quickly on the cheek. Edward's hand was still firmly gripped around hers and she felt him tense when she said hello. Well, that was weird she thought and made a mental note to pursue that topic of conversation later with him.

Carlisle shifted awkwardly from foot to foot as he stood in front of his son and daughter-in-law. He'd seen Edward in passing at the office but hadn't had a chance to speak to him since he'd returned from New York. Truthfully, he hadn't gone out of his way to talk to him either, he admitted reluctantly to himself.

Esme's words still haunted him, as they had all week. Edward had always been distant with him, ever since the first time they met in Ireland all those years ago. It was a difficult adjustment for him to make, especially because Edward was so different from Emmett. Carlisle couldn't help but question his own actions. Had he tried hard enough to reach him? Had he unknowingly pushed him away somehow? Had he been so jealous of Edward's relationship with his own father that he let that manifest to the point he was angry at his own son for having something he didn't? None of those questions had an easy answer and over the past week, though he'd thought about those things quite often, he found himself trying to answer them as honestly as he could.

So far he hadn't liked much of what he'd discovered.

Carlisle had spoke with Emmett yesterday and listened to him talk about the dinner the night before with Edward and Isabella and he found himself more than a bit regretful that he and Esme weren't invited as well. He understood, of course, and he was happy to see his sons spending time together, but he couldn't help but feel a little slighted, too. He knew Esme was saddened that they weren't included and that upset him to no end.

And therein lay much of the problem between himself and Edward.

"Aunt Belwa," Emma squealed as she ran from Esme to Isabella when she noticed her.

Little Emma Ann Cullen was the spitting image of her mother. Long, curly blonde hair and eyes so blue they made you stop and take a second look because you were sure they couldn't possibly be as blue as they appeared. She had her father's dimples and smile and Edward felt a deep and profound pang of regret when he watched Isabella's face light up like a Christmas tree when she heard their niece call her name.

He'd never wanted children; he couldn't ever imagine knowingly or willingly putting a child through what he'd been through. He knew he wasn't a thing like his father, Liam, and he sure as hell knew Isabella was nothing like his mother, Maggie, but that deep-rooted fear he had of making the same mistakes kept him from even thinking about having children. Looking at his wife and the way she smiled at little Emma, he very much regretted that train of thought.

How incredible a mother she would be, he sadly said to himself. So much love to give and he'd deprived her of the chance.

Isabella looked at her husband when she heard the sad sigh he let out and immediately stood and laid her hand on his arm. "Edward?" she questioned anxiously, hating so much to see the pain etched on his face. His green eyes were tumultuous and his jaw was tense and she didn't like it, not at all.

Edward took a deep breath and then smiled tenderly at her. "I'm fine, love." He chuckled when she raised her eyebrows, obviously not believing him. "I promise, I'm fine. Really," he told her and kissed her quickly on the lips as Emma wrapped her arms tightly around Isabella's legs.

"We'll talk about this later," she warned him and he nodded, knowing full well she'd say that.

"Sweet Pea!" Isabella exclaimed as she bent down and picked up the little girl that never failed to bring a smile to her face. "I swear you've grown since the last time I saw you!"

Isabella nuzzled the little girl in her arms with her nose, inhaling the sweet, distinctive little girl smell Emma always had. She looked at her in question when she felt her tiny hands tap on her arm. "Yep, that's Uncle Edward. Can you say hi?" she asked when she saw where Emma was pointing and looked at her husband. She couldn't help but frown at the brief flash of pain she saw flit across his face but it was gone as quick as it had come. He stepped forward and ran his hand down Emma's hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Hi, pretty girl," he said, sounding a bit afraid, which was just plain silly as far as Isabella was concerned.

Emma was an exceedingly outgoing child and though she was a bit hesitant with Edward because he hadn't been around her very much, she still lifted her arms to him. He looked at Isabella with wide eyes and she laughed at him. "Edward, she won't break. Hold her for a minute."

Edward reached out and lifted the little girl from his wife's arms and as soon as he held her against his chest and she wrapped her little hands around his neck, Edward...melted.

Like, full-on, big ole puddle of Edward goo.

"You sure are a pretty little thing."

Edward laughed softly when she snuggled right up in the crook of his neck. He walked around with her for a few minutes and held onto her, rubbing her back and talking quietly to her. She picked her head up after a time and pointed back toward the playground and said, "Play wif me?"

Edward looked back to Isabella, who had been watching in rapt attention to her husband and niece. She sniffed and felt the hot sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. Edward looked so peaceful as he walked and talked softly to Emma and it tugged at her heart to see him in such a way.

It sure didn't seem like he'd had anywhere near enough of that in his past, judging from the way he looked and acted now and the things he'd mentioned in passing before.

"Beautiful, me and Miss Emma are going to go swing for a few minutes. We'll be right back," he told her before walking toward the swings.

She nodded at him and couldn't help but smile at how utterly adorable he was. "He seems very different," Esme said quietly as she stepped up next to Isabella as they both watched Edward push Emma on the swing.

"He is," Isabella answered simply.

Esme continued to watch her son with her granddaughter and when he laughed at something Emma told him, it was the sweetest sound she'd ever heard. Her heart leapt but was quickly replaced with a pang of longing so acute it took her breath away. How she wished she'd heard that sound more as he grew up. How she wished she was an integral part of his life instead of a mostly absent mother. How she wished things were different.

"Is he...is everything okay?" Esme asked, trying very hard to figure out what was going on. Between hearing about the dinner with Emmett and Rose and seeing Edward with Emma, it was like she was looking at a completely different Edward.

Isabella sighed, unsure how to answer her mother-in-law. She was all for building bridges and mending fences, but not at the expense of his happiness. She'd just found the Edward she'd been waiting for, and she wasn't about to risk losing him by making him talk with Carlisle and Esme if he wasn't ready.

"Yes, Esme, he is fine. Better than fine," Isabella said lovingly, feeling her heart fill as she thought about the past week.

"What's happened? He seems so...happy," Esme trailed off. It wasn't like she begrudged Edward being happy, far from it, but it was just such a shock to see.

Isabella huffed, and while she understood where Esme was coming from, it still rubbed her the wrong way, a lot. "And that is a bad thing?" she snapped.

She had never really understood the dynamics of the relationship Edward had with his adoptive parents. She knew that he was adopted by Carlisle and Esme when he was fourteen. She knew that Edward's mother, Maggie, had been Esme's sister and that there had been some sort of falling out between Maggie and her family. She knew that his grandfather had died just before she started working for Cullen Publishing and she knew that Edward had been groomed to be William Cullen's successor.

She knew that Edward had spent too many years lonely and afraid.

Isabella was very fond of Esme, she tolerated Carlisle, and she often found herself angry at the both of them for Edward's unhappiness. He was a fourteen-year-old boy when they'd taken him in; they were the adults. It was hard not to blame them for not being able to do more for Edward, though what that should have been, she had no idea. She didn't know what had happened to Edward before he left Ireland, but she just didn't understand how Esme and Carlisle could allow whatever had happened to continue for so long.

"No, of course it's not a bad thing," Esme said quietly. "It's wonderful to see. I was just curious as to what has caused such a drastic change."

"Perhaps you should ask him, Esme," Isabella answered curtly and then immediately felt bad for her tone of voice. "Esme, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that that way. I know he's different, but that Edward," she said as she pointed to where Edward was holding Emma in his arms, "is MY Edward. He's the one I fell in love with and he's the one I've prayed would come back to me. I will not let anyone, not even you or Carlisle, do anything to jeopardize his happiness. He's been so unhappy for so long and I refuse to allow him to go back to the way he was."

"She's a beautiful little girl, Edward," Seth said when he appeared on the swing next to Emma's.

Edward had to laugh at the sight, because seeing Seth on a swing just seemed so bizarre.

"Yes, she is," Edward answered once he'd stopped laughing.

"How are you doing so far?" the angel questioned. He'd been watching all morning, for he knew that Carlisle and Esme would be here at the park. Should he have warned Edward ahead of time? He didn't think so. He wanted Edward to enjoy his morning with Isabella and in all honesty, he wanted to see Edward's reaction to Carlisle.

Gideon and Seth had talked at great length about the strides Edward had made this week. Once he'd told Isabella he loved her, it seemed as if Edward's entire being had changed. He smiled, he laughed, he teased. Granted, it was only with Isabella, but still, it was a huge step.

"Hell if I know," Edward answered sarcastically. "Why did he have to be here, today of all days?"

"Did you ever think that maybe he wanted to see you, Edward?" the angel probed. Edward was still so bitter, so stubborn when it came to Carlisle. While Seth understood, to an extent, where the intense feelings came from, sooner or later Edward was going to have to give.

Edward might try to convince himself that as long as he'd reconnected with Isabella, he would be happy with that, but the all-knowing angel knew better. Sure it would go a long way into mending his broken heart, but until he'd made peace with Carlisle and Esme, which in turn meant coming to terms with what had happened to him all those years ago, Edward wouldn't be truly happy.

"Whatever," Edward grumbled. He knew he was being purposely obstinate where Carlisle was concerned, but he just didn't want to go there. Not yet anyway. Things were so good with Isabella, he didn't want to risk anything happening to the happiness he'd found with her.

Seth sighed, shaking the entire play structure. Thankfully, whatever 'forgetful dust' he used whenever he was around seemed to work on Emma just like everyone else, Edward thought with a shake of his head.

The whole thing was still so damn…weird.

"Boy, you are trying my very last nerve," the angel huffed in exasperation. "Edward, I know dealing with Carlisle is going to be hard, the hardest thing you've ever done more than likely. I know it's going to open wounds you'd rather leave alone, but you need to heal, not just where Isabella is concerned, but with both sets of your parents, too. Your scars run deep, and it is only by opening them up again and dealing with them once and for all that you can close them permanently. Forgiveness isn't easy, Edward Anthony, neither is grace; for that matter, neither is love. Look at your lovely wife," Seth said in a much gentler voice.

Edward turned his head and found his wife talking to Esme. Her hair was blowing in the gentle breeze and her cheeks had the slightest tinge of pink to them. She was so beautiful his breath caught in his throat. He loved her, God how he loved her. So much he didn't know how it was possible to love someone as much as he loved Isabella.

"Love is messy and scary and hard, Edward, but it is also tender and warm, and can make you feel like you can scale mountains and fly. It has the power to render a man speechless and it has the power to break your heart into a million tiny pieces. You've found all of that with that incredible woman over there; don't you think you might find the same with your family? It isn't the same type of love a husband feels for his wife, his soul mate, but it can be just as beautiful," Seth finished.

Edward was so torn and so very scared, but he knew what the angel told him was right. He was tired, so fucking tired of carrying around all the hurt and anger. He wanted to let go of it, he wanted to be free, but it would come with a price and he just wasn't sure he wanted to pay it, no matter the reward.

Isabella looked up and saw Edward watching her interaction with his mother. His head was tilted to the side as he tried to figure out what was going on and she smiled at him, suddenly wanting to be close to him. Turning to Esme she excused herself and started walking toward him, doing everything in her power to keep from running to him.

"Think about what I've said, Edward. Who knows, you might find Carlisle and Esme want to make things right as much as you did with Isabella," Seth prodded and then was gone.

"Damn angel," Edward muttered.

"Aunt Belwah!" Emma squealed excitedly when she saw Isabella approach. "Uncle Ebbard play wif me," she sang as she kicked her little legs while Edward continued to push her.

"Are you okay?" Isabella asked him when she looked at him. He looked fine, a bit tense, but nothing that she didn't expect.

He gave her a sexy, lazy smile and said, "I am with the two most beautiful girls in the world, how could I not be okay?"

She smiled at him, her heart melting at his sweet words and said, "Flattery will get you everywhere, husband of mine. Come on, let's take little miss to the bathroom and go find our seats so we can watch Jack."

They walked, all hand in hand with Emma between them, oblivious to the others that were watching.

"Well, I'll be damned." Emmett chuckled with a smile while he and Jack warmed up by throwing the baseball back and forth. He didn't even have words to describe what Edward being here today meant to him. To others it might seem like such a small thing, but not to him. He knew having his mom and dad there would be hard for Edward, but the fact that he didn't bolt immediately gave him hope that they had all indeed reached a turning point.

"Uncle Edward and Aunt Bella are going to stay and watch me, aren't they, Dad?" Jack asked, the hope in his voice evident.

"Yes, little man, they are. They're even coming back to the house for dinner," Emmett answered.

"Cool. Do you think Uncle Edward will play on the Wii with me?" Jack asked and Emmett couldn't help but laugh at the thought of his uptight brother playing video games. But, hell, he never thought he'd see the day he pushed his daughter on the swings or came to a baseball game either, so who knew?

Emmett looked at Edward and Isabella again, smiling hugely when Edward pretended to chase Emma and she giggled at him. "It won't hurt to ask, Jack. Now, let's get to the dugout, it's game time."

Rosalie turned from the conversation she was having while she waited in the bleachers for the game to start when she heard her daughter's unmistakable laugh. She did a double take to make sure she wasn't seeing things, but after a second glance, she realized she wasn't. Edward really was playing with Emma, willingly, and from all appearances was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Rose, who is that with Emma?" her friend, Julie, asked her.

"My brother-in-law, Edward," Rose answered slowly as she stared, transfixed by the sight across the field.

Julie whistled lowly and bumped her shoulder. "And where have you been hiding him? That man is drop dead gorgeous."

"Jules, he's married and I happen to adore my sister-in-law," Rose answered her harmless friend with a roll of her eyes. She was a huge flirt, but she was married to her high school sweetheart so Rose knew the comment was made in fun.

"Happily?" Julie questioned, not trying to be nosy, well, not too nosy.

Rose looked back and found Edward carrying Emma; she was obviously worn out from all the activity. He had his other arm wrapped tightly around Isabella's shoulder and when he bent down to whisper something in her ear and she smiled at him and kissed his cheek, Rose let out a happy sigh. "If you would have asked as soon as last week, I probably would have told you I had no idea. But today, I'll tell you yes, unequivocally happy."

"Well, his wife is one lucky woman," Julie said before turning her attention back to the other parents.

"Nope, Edward is the lucky one," Rose said, mostly to herself.

Carlisle and Esme were making their way to the bleachers from the concession stand and they followed behind the threesome, each lost in their own thoughts. Carlisle was bewildered as he stared at the scene in front of him. There was an aura around his son that was almost palpable and he was at a loss for words to define it. Edward was calm, relaxed, open even, well he was whenever he didn't get too close to him, Carlisle thought sadly with a shake of his head. How very depressing that just his presence caused such a reaction.

He cursed his deceased brother-in-law and sister-in-law for causing that instinct in Edward to pull away, to be wary of affection. As if he wasn't deserving or like it would be offered and then taken back on a whim. It didn't take much thought to figure out that something happened to Edward while he was growing up, something that affected his psyche so profoundly that it turned him into the man he was now.

As they continued to walk, Carlisle found his thoughts focused on his late father. William Cullen seemed to have an innate understanding of Edward, one no one else had. Whether that was because he saw himself in his adopted grandson or because Edward was so unlike Emmett or himself, Carlisle wasn't sure. What he did know, however, was that almost from the moment he and Esme returned from Ireland with Edward in tow, his father was more involved in his life and the lives of his family than he'd ever been previously.

It didn't take long for anyone to figure out that Edward was an exceptionally bright boy. His math skills were unparalleled, his reading level was years and years ahead of where he was in school, his vocabulary would have been better suited for someone at least twice his age. He understood economics, physics, and philosophy with an ease that often made him bored at school. No matter how advanced the class was, Edward was light years ahead of his classmates.

Once William Cullen set his sights on Edward, Carlisle felt like he'd lost him before he even had a chance to really get to know him. His own relationship with the elder Cullen made it next to impossible to compete for Edward's affections and truthfully, Edward seemed much more comfortable around his aloof, cool, and gruff grandfather than he ever did his more down to earth brother and more loving parents.

What to do, what to do? Carlisle repeatedly asked himself and sighed deeply as he walked beside his wife.

"He's different," Esme said softly. She stared ahead, feeling her heart warm at the sight of Edward being so affectionate with Emma and Isabella.

"Mmmm, hmm," Carlisle answered his wife just as softly.

Esme could tell something had changed as soon as she'd seen Edward help Isabella from the car and give her a kiss, in public no less. The words her daughter-in-law spoke to her a short while ago still stung, but Esme understood what Isabella was doing; it was what she'd always done from the very first moment she had met Edward. She was protecting him, putting his needs above her own, loving him unconditionally.

Ever since Edward and Isabella became a couple and then after they'd gotten married it had always been that way. Little things, things that would go unnoticed by all but the most diligent observer, proved over and over again how perfect Isabella was for her son. Whenever the family was together, she stayed by his side. He'd never been openly affectionate, but you could tell just her proximity kept him calm. During conversations, if a subject came up that caused him discomfort, she'd casually change the subject. She touched his arm and his hand just to remind him of her presence. Whenever he'd had enough family time, she'd make their excuses so they could leave. Edward was probably completely unaware of what was happening, but Esme saw it all.

Esme Cullen loved both of her sons, so much there were no words to describe it. When she'd found out she couldn't have children all those years ago, it was like a part of her had died. All her life, well from the time she could understand what she was feeling, all she'd wanted was to be a mother and then to have that ripped away from her was almost more than she could take. When she'd met Carlisle at a dinner party held by mutual friends, their attraction to each other was instantaneous. Esme had known who Carlisle was of course, Cullen Publishing was, even at that time, one of the most prestigious publishing firms in the country and William Cullen was well-known and respected in all of Chicago.

She did not immediately succumb to Carlisle's flirtatious ways though. She'd already been told she would be unable to have children and felt she would be an unworthy mate for one of Chicago's most eligible bachelors. Carlisle was relentless in his pursuit and after many heart to heart discussions in which he repeatedly told her that it was her that was most important, she finally agreed to marry him, much to the displeasure of William Cullen.

William Cullen was extremely disappointed in his son's choice of spouse and didn't keep his displeasure to himself. It wasn't that he disliked Esme, but the fact that there wouldn't be an heir to the Cullen dynasty was inconceivable. Carlisle was adamant that Esme was who he loved and who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and it wasn't until the two informed William of their plan to adopt Emmett that things between them thawed.

She and Carlisle had only been married a short time when Maggie ran away to Ireland with Liam. Esme was five years older than her only sister and she was devastated when Maggie disappeared. She tried to stay in contact with her, writing her letters every week, making regular phone calls, sending packages from home, anything to keep the lines of communication open, but all of her attempts were rebuffed. Even when their parents had passed away, her mother from a brain aneurism and her father shortly after from natural causes, though Esme was convinced it was from a broken heart, her sister still wouldn't talk to her.

Esme still hadn't, even all these years later, been able to forgive herself for giving up on her sister. After her parents had passed away and Maggie refused to come home, Esme decided she'd done all she could to reach her so she stopped trying. A person could only take so much rejection and Esme had reached her end, a fact of which she regretted still to this day. The only communication she'd had with her estranged sister was an announcement when Edward was born that included a picture. No letter, no other details, just a card and a picture.

When the call came all those years ago about her sister's and Liam's deaths, she didn't hesitate for an instant to rush to her nephew's aid. One look at Edward when they arrived was all it took for her to fall completely and totally in love with him. He'd looked so lost and so afraid when they had gotten to him that she didn't waver even a moment to take whatever steps needed to be done to bring him home with them. Money came in handy in certain situations, as well as a powerful name, and she didn't think twice about using both to get the paperwork filed so that Edward would be theirs permanently.

Esme sighed when she thought of that young boy and the subsequent years since he'd been made a permanent part of their family. So many things she didn't know, so many things left unsaid, so many damn regrets.

"Hey, Ed, Bella!" Emmett's loud voice boomed pulling Esme from her thoughts. She had to chuckle at her younger son's boisterous enthusiasm.

Edward looked up and smiled when he saw Emmett approach. "Daddy," Emma murmured sleepily when she heard his voice.

"Hi, Princess, did you have fun with your Uncle Edward and Aunt Bella?" Emmett asked his daughter and kissed the top of her head. She nodded her head at him and then wiggled to get down when she spied her mother off to her right.

Edward grinned when he watched her scamper off, climbing up the bleachers with ease. "You looked like you had fun yourself, bro," Emmett teased and Edward huffed but nodded anyway.

"She's a beautiful little girl, Emmett," Edward told him.

Emmett slapped him on the back, not wanting to get too mushy when there was a game to be played. "Well, just so you know, Jack is planning on challenging you to a fierce game of bowling on the Wii when you get to the house."

Edward had no idea how to bowl on a video game and he'd never played on a Wii in his life, but he found he was looking forward to it and told his brother just that. "I can't wait," Edward said and then waved at Jack who was watching him. "Tell Jack I said to play well, we'll talk to you when the game is done."

The game was...fun. Who knew you could enjoy watching a bunch of five-year-olds play baseball so much? Of course it wasn't as much playing as it was running aimlessly around the field, but it was fun nonetheless. He kept Isabella's hand firmly inside of his. He was very much aware that Rose, Esme, and Carlisle were watching his every move and while it unnerved him, he supposed he understood it, too. After all, it wasn't like he made a habit of hanging around the baseball park on a Saturday morning.

Isabella turned from the conversation she was having with Rose and looked at Edward, just to make sure he was doing okay. She knew today was a big step for him and she didn't want anything undermining his attempts. "Are you having fun?" she asked him.

She was so relieved when he smiled a heart-stopping smile, the one he used only for her. "Surprisingly, yes. Jack is very good," he said as he looked past her to Rose. He was, too. While most of the other boys looked lost and confused, Jack was focused and trying to do the best he could.

Rose smiled proudly and said, "Yeah, he is. Em practices with him almost every day after school for at least a few minutes. He's really loving it so far."

Edward turned back to the game and watched Jack catch a ball and run it to first base for an easy out. "His hard work has definitely paid off," Edward remarked and couldn't help but feel proud of the little boy as well. He didn't have anything to do with how well he played, but he was proud of him just the same.

The game passed quickly and before long he and Isabella were on their way to spend the afternoon at Emmett and Rose's house.

During the ride, most of which had been spent in a relaxing silence, Edward said quietly, "When I was Jack's age, I wanted to play baseball."

Isabella gasped softly at the unexpected admission. Immediately she had numerous questions for him, but instead of asking any she merely responded with an, "Oh?'

They were stopped at a stoplight so Edward was able to run a hand through his hair. He rested his head against the back of his seat and turned to his right to look at her. He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah. All the boys at school played and I wanted to, too. I asked my father to practice with me, but he never did. So, instead of trying to teach myself, I just didn't play," he finished sadly.

"So you never got to play at all?" Isabella asked, squeezing his hand in comfort.

The traffic began moving again so he turned to look back out the windshield. "No, I didn't see much point in doing something else by myself. It was probably for the best anyway, it's not like either one of them would have ever made time to watch anyway."

Isabella felt her heart break at his pained and bitter voice. "I'm so sorry, Edward," she told him, wanting to erase every painful memory he had so she didn't have to hear that tone of his voice again.

He slid his hand from hers and then ran the backs of his fingers down the side of her cheek. "Thank you, Beautiful. It wasn't the happiest of childhoods, that was for damn sure. I did most everything by myself; I had to. It made it hard for me to trust people, you know? I just didn't want to take that chance again, even with you it was hard. I didn't know how," he admitted painfully.

When they reached the next stop light, Isabella reached up and held his hand to her face and stared into his eyes and told him lovingly, "You can trust me, Edward. You don't have to do this alone anymore."

"I'm beginning to understand and believe that. Be patient with me, Isabella. I'm trying."

"That is all I'd ever ask of you, sweetheart. I'll always be here for you," she reminded him yet again.

"You're all I've ever needed. I love you," he told her and then brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips, fighting an extreme urge to pull the car over and pull her into his lap and show her just how much he needed her.

He really did need her, too. In ways he couldn't even articulate. It wasn't solely sexual either, though his desire for her hadn't abated in the least. He needed her presence, he needed her quiet strength, and he needed her unwavering faith in him.

Isabella decided she needed to lighten the mood before they arrived at Rose and Emmett's house, especially because she knew Carlisle and Esme would be there as well, so she said, "Again, flattery will get you everywhere, husband of mine. Though between your sweet words and watching you with Emma, it was already a done deal. Now you're just trying to store up brownie points, aren't you?" She leaned over the console and kissed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair before she said sweetly, "I loved watching you and Emma. I've never seen you so peaceful and content."

He chuckled as he turned down the street Emmett and Rose lived on and said, "I'd hate to be Emmett when that little girl gets older. He's going to need a very large gun to keep the boys away. She's going to be a heart breaker."

Isabella unbuckled her seat belt when the car came to a stop and looked at him. "I imagine you would be the same way with our daughter, Edward," she said and then opened her door.

Her words hit him hard, and as much as he wanted to fall to his knees and apologize profusely, it wasn't really the time for that. He couldn't stop the image of a little girl that looked just like her with long brown hair and a breathtaking smile and a little boy with his crazy hair but her brown eyes from playing like a movie over and over again in his mind.

Damn he wanted that, so, so much. But, much like begging for more time, he couldn't have it, so he resigned himself to the fact that it was just one more way he'd failed her and just one more thing he needed to make up to his wife for.

"Edward?" Isabella questioned in concern when he hadn't moved and he shook his head to rid himself of the melancholy thoughts. He had no doubt they would resurface, but he wanted to enjoy the rest of the day with her and the others.

He smiled at her and though she could see a faint hint of a lingering sadness, he looked okay. "I'm fine. You don't have to worry so much. I think I can survive a day with the family. Though, you can bet I'll let you know if I need you to rescue me. I have no idea how the hell to bowl on a thing called a Wii," he snickered and shook his head.

"Well, you just say the word, sweetheart, and I'll save you," she told him as she got out of the car.

"You already have," he whispered, then got out as well.

It turned out that Edward was an awful bowler, much to his nephew's delight. "Uncle Edward, you have to let go of the button so that the ball goes. You keep going in the gutter." He giggled at his totally clueless uncle.

"Kid, I think you are enjoying my humiliation way too much," Edward said with a wink. "Let's try again."

Once he'd managed to get somewhat of the hang of things, Jack said, "Thank you for coming to my game today. It was really cool to have you watch."

Edward reached over and ruffled his hair, pleased in a way he couldn't even fathom that something so small meant so much. He was just so sorry it had taken so long and he'd already missed so much. "You are a heck of a ballplayer, Jack. It was a lot of fun to watch. I'll try to make the next one, too, okay?" He didn't want to promise in case something came up and he wasn't able to make it. He was more than a little tired of disappointing people, most of all himself.

"Awesome," Jack said with a trademark Cullen smile.

"Bro, you suck," Emmett teased good-naturedly a few minutes later when he walked into the game room and looked at the pitiful score on the television.

Edward rolled his eyes, but took the ribbing in stride. "Give me a break, Em. I didn't even know what a Wii was until thirty minutes ago."

Emmett smiled at his brother and shook his head. He still couldn't believe the change in Edward, and though he didn't want to ruin his good mood, he figured he needed to warn him about the guests that had just arrived. "Mom and Dad are here," he said quietly, cringing in anticipation for the anger he expected but when all he heard was a sigh, he looked wide-eyed at Edward.

Edward chuckled, a bit flustered that Emmett was surprised by his reaction. He obviously expected something else and he supposed he couldn't blame him.

He didn't like admitting that, but the truth was the truth no matter how you tried to sugarcoat it.

"I didn't figure you wouldn't ask them over, Emmett. It's fine. It will be nice to have dinner together," Edward told him. He was being mostly truthful. He missed his mother and for everyone's sake, it would be nice to clear the air at least a bit with Carlisle.

"So, you're staying?" Emmett asked, double-checking that he'd heard right.

"Yes. Besides, I need more time to beat Jack at this infernal game," he told him and then turned back to his nephew. "I'll beat you, you just watch."

"Sure, Uncle Edward," the boy said with a roll of his eyes.

Emmett left the two and walked back upstairs to check the food on the grill, shaking his head the whole way.

Jack and Edward emerged a short while later and Edward was still no better at bowling than he was before.

They found the rest of the family sitting in the kitchen visiting while Emmett finished up outside. Everyone looked at him when they walked in, probably because he was laughing at Jack's teasing.

Really? he thought, wondering how long it would take before people stopped looking at him like he was wearing a tutu.

"Hello, Mother," he said as he approached her, and he couldn't help but smile when she looked so happy to see him.

"Hello, Darling. I hear Jack is still the king of bowling?" she teased after she had kissed his cheek affectionately.

"Yeah, and from the looks of it, I'd say there is no chance of him losing that title anytime soon," he said with a chuckle.

Rosalie laughed, pleased more than she could say at Edward's efforts. "Well, Edward, it's nice to see you admit there's something you can't do well," she said with a wink.

Ah, Rosalie, never one to mince words that was for damn sure, he thought.

Carlisle stood up from his chair, wanting to say hello and hoping for a different reaction this time. It sure seemed like his son was making an effort and he decided if Edward could, then so could he. "Hello again, son," Carlisle said and held his hand out.

Edward looked briefly at his wife and when she smiled at him encouragingly, he looked back at his father, holding his hand out, and said, "Hello, Carlisle."

Carlisle was a bit taken aback at the different tone of voice this time around and smiled at him in thanks. Everyone made their way to the table when Emmett came back inside carrying a platter full of grilled chicken and Carlisle quickly made a decision. Reaching a hand out to stop Edward, he laid it on his arm. When Edward turned and looked at him he said, "I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes after dinner if that is okay?"

Edward swallowed, knowing he had to say yes, no matter how much he didn't want to.

Damn it all.

He nodded and said, "Sure, there are a few things I'd like to talk to you about, too."

Carlisle nodded, the relief evident on his face as he sat down next to Esme.

Edward quietly said, "You'd better hurry the hell up, there is no way I'm doing this alone." He knew the unseen angel was hovering, he could feel it.

"Damn angel," Edward muttered before taking his seat next to his wife, hoping that it was a long dinner.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~