Chapter 23

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Chapter 23

Edward took one more look around the room and tried not to let the fact that everyone looked like they were holding their breath and bracing for the worst keep him from doing what needed to be done. He was almost done, he thought, trying to give himself that last push he needed.

"Mother," Edward finally began after taking one last deep breath. "This next part is going to be incredibly difficult for you to hear. Are you sure you're up for this?"

Before he'd even finished his sentence, Esme was nodding her head. "Edward, I want...I need to know, finally, and once and for all what happened to my sister. I can't believe it has taken this long to get to this point, but now that we're finally here, it's time to get everything out in the open. Please, son, tell me what happened to her," she begged, as she tried to keep herself together.

Carlisle was almost beside himself with anxiety as he watched the exchange between his beloved wife and his son. He wanted to pull his hair out by the roots, he wanted to scream, but more than anything he wanted to stand up and wrap his arms around Edward and beg him to forgive him for all the times he had failed him since the moment he entered their lives. It was taking all he could not to break completely down, but he vowed to stay as strong as he needed to be for Esme...and for Edward as well. He was, by God, going to finally stand by his son's side and offer him whatever he needed, for however long he needed it.

It was the least he could do.

"Edward, son, do you need a moment, a drink or anything?" he asked, trying to find some way to let Edward know he was there for him.

"No, thanks, I'm...um, no," Edward stammered because he was about to say he was 'good' but everyone in the room knew that was a damn lie.

He looked at Isabella, taking just a second to give her a tender smile that he hoped conveyed everything he felt for her. He owed her...everything. He didn't even know how to begin articulating everything she meant to him and everything she'd done for him. She truly was, without question, his greatest gift, and if it took a thousand lifetimes, he still wouldn't be able to express how much he loved her or how grateful he was for her.

That tingling feeling he always got whenever Seth was near prickled down his spine. Edward quickly glanced toward the corner of the living room and sure enough, there he was, standing, well, floating, but not moving a muscle.

"Edward Anthony, can you find the strength to finish?" Seth asked anxiously.

He knew, oh Lord he knew, how imperative it was that Edward finish what he had started, but the poor angel was so terribly conflicted as he watched Edward struggle to keep himself together. Seeing Edward in pain tore at his heart and when he turned his ice blue eyes toward Isabella, he almost lost the tenuous hold he had on his emotions. In all honesty, not one person in the room looked like they could endure much more.

Edward closed his eyes and hung his head, expelling a very deep breath. His heart was pounding painfully against his chest and his stomach felt like it had been poked and prodded with a branding iron. He had never been as fucking grateful for Seth's presence as he was just then, only because it gave him a brief reprieve from the almost suffocating tension in the room.

"Edward?" the angel asked again.

"I have no idea, to be fucking honest with you, but I have to. I've come too far to just stop when I'm so close to finally putting this behind me," Edward said in a totally monotone voice.

Seth finally moved and floated to where Edward stood still as a statue. He lifted his hands and laid them on his young charge's shoulders, the ones that seemed so weary from carrying so very much. "You're doing so well, Edward. You can do this. I know it seems like a mountain you can't climb, but I know you can do it."

"It's going to hurt Esme so much," Edward said softly.

"Yes," Seth said simply.

There was no reason to sugarcoat it, Esme would be devastated.

"Give them the answers they all need, Edward Anthony; clear the air with Carlisle and Esme, and move on. Lay the past to rest and enjoy the peace that you have fought so hard to gain," the angel implored, using every bit of his otherworldly persuasive powers to help Edward understand just how much he believed in him.

"I'm ready," Edward shakily said when he lifted his head and rolled his shoulders.

"I won't leave you, Edward. If you need me, I'll be here," Seth said and then took up his sentry post in the corner of the living room to stand at the ready.

Once Edward realized that everyone was 'present' again, he faced them all once more. "I'm going to try to get this all out, so I'd appreciate it if you could all just let me say what I need to without interrupting. This is going to be hard enough to get out without stopping and starting," he said as he began pacing again.

Isabella curled in closer to her father, resisting the urge to fling herself into her husband's arms and drag him upstairs to keep him from having to go through this again. She knew how incredibly difficult what he was about to share with everyone was going to be to hear, but no one more so than Esme. As many conflicting feelings as she had toward her mother-in-law, she would never, ever want to see her suffer, and there was no way once she heard what Edward had to say, she wouldn't be hurt.

She kept her eyes intently trained on her husband, taking note of the rigid stance of his posture, and the way his eyes were pinched. Of course the most telling sign was the deep 'v' in between his eyebrows and the way his hair was going every which way from having been pulled and tugged over the past hour or so he'd been talking. She was so incredibly proud of him, so much so that her heart threatened to burst right from her chest. Over the course of the past few days she could see the weight being lifted from his shoulders and she most definitely could feel the last of his walls disintegrate into nothingness and float away. She had no doubt that once everyone fully grasped the extent of the trauma he lived through, they could all become the family they were supposed to be.

And, it would all be due to her incredible husband.

Emmett watched his brother pace back and forth, feeling like a knife was twisting in his heart. Hearing what Edward had been through with his birth parents about wrecked him, and then to find out his father had been killed, and from the sounds of it, murdered, made him want to scream. The tension in the air was so thick you could practically cut it and Emmett knew the worst was yet to come. Knowing, finally, what had caused Edward to behave the way he had explained so much. Emmett wished more than anything that there was something he could do to make the pain that Edward was still so evidently suffering, go away. All the times Edward had held back, all the times he'd acted like he didn't care, each and every time he withdrew, Emmett understood now.

He took a quick look at Bella and felt his heart break even more when he could see how upset she was. He had no idea what had happened the other day to cause things to reach the obvious tipping point, and he hated that the two of them had both endured a great deal, but he was so fucking grateful to finally be here. He had never admired his brother more than he did right then nor had he ever loved him so much.

Edward stopped moving and picked up his story. "As soon as the door closed behind the policemen my mom just...lost it. She screamed and started shaking; she kept making this horrible sound that was the worst thing I'd ever heard. It sounded like someone was literally peeling the skin from her body. She started throwing anything she could get her hands on and when she looked at me it was like she didn't even know I was there. She just kept muttering over and over again how she couldn't live without him and how she didn't want to be alone. She never once asked how I was or anything, she only thought about herself and...him. I was pretty much numb by this point, between the news of my dad and then watching her break the fuck down, I was just...done."

He started stalking back and forth again, trying to keep the memories he had of that time at bay, or at least from overtaking him so he could concentrate on what he had to say. So many things had rushed to the surface and threatened to overwhelm him. Visions of his mother wailing uncontrollably, totally blind to all that was going on around her filled his mind and it felt like he was reliving it all over again. The fear, the anger, the crushing guilt he felt because he didn't feel anything when he found out his father was dead.

"I remember," Edward went on in voice that set everyone's nerves on edge, "that she went to her room and didn't come out...for days. Strange people came and went, talking about things I had no idea about, asking me questions I had no answers for. The police came back and demanded to talk to her, but she was so incoherent it was a waste of a trip. I know I tried to ask the priest that had come by if we were going to have a funeral because I knew that was what we were supposed to do, but he patted me on the head and told me, 'I'm sorry, son. I don't know.'

"She never once checked on me or anything, just left me totally on my own to deal with people I didn't know or why they were there. By the time a few days had passed, a neighbor came by and checked on me. I had finally realized just how out of touch my parents had been...with everything. They had their group of friends or acquaintances from my dad's job, but other than that, they only spent time with each other. The only reason the neighbor came by was because of the police coming and going as well as the few friends they had. She was this nice old lady, at least she seemed old at the time, and she convinced me to go to school the next day. I still had no idea really what had happened to my...to Liam but being at school was better than being at home by myself listening to my mother cry nonstop."

Edward breathed in and out a few times and though he wanted nothing more than to grab Isabella and hold on tight, he resisted, but just barely. He did take a moment to look at her, staring deep into her warm and so very loving brown eyes. He let the love she had for him wrap around him like a warm blanket, knowing that as soon as he finished doing what he needed to do, there was nothing else standing between them. Every wall, every secret, every fear he had carried around for most of his life would be gone, leaving just him and her. Husband and wife. Lovers and best friends.

The words the all-knowing and exceedingly loving angel had spoken to him just a few days before sounded in his mind like a hymn sung during Sunday Mass. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, Edward, but even if you only had one day, one day in which you, Isabella, and your family were at peace, wouldn't that be worth everything?

It was in that moment that the feeling that everything would be okay settled over him once more, giving him the strength to go on. The pain he would feel reliving the worst moment of his life, again, was nothing compared to the peace and comfort he could give his parents...his brother...his Isabella. Even though she'd already heard his story once before, hearing it alongside those they both loved would be the ultimate culmination and the bond that would cement their family for the rest of their lives.

Seth had never been in a situation such as this. One where you knew that in just a few moments heartache of an unfathomable level was about to take place, but at the same time, the power of love and forgiveness was about to work its infinite magic. He felt the comforting presence of Gideon as he appeared beside him. As much as Seth wanted to stop time so that he could spare Edward, Isabella, and the rest of their family from the agony they were about to experience, he couldn't.

All he could do, as well as the rest of his kind, was pray that through God's grace, they would come out stronger than before.

Feeling his breathing become labored and the pain in his chest grow exponentially, Edward looked at his mother - his true mother. Knowing he could perhaps soften the blow she was about to receive, he walked toward her and knelt in front of her. Taking her shaking hand in his, he began softly and with tears pouring down his face. "All during the day, I could hear my classmates and teachers alike whispering every time I passed by. I'm sure, looking back on it, that it was quite the scandal, but at the time, I couldn't figure out why everyone was so concerned about my parents of all people. By the time the school day was over, I was almost relieved to go home, though as I walked toward my house, I got more and more anxious wondering what my mom was going to be like when I got there. I made my way home and as soon as I walked through the front door, I could tell something was...off. It was so damn quiet and I remember feeling cold. I took my shoes off like I was supposed to and laid my backpack on the dining room table. I know I looked around trying to figure out what was making it feel so weird, but everything looked just like it was supposed to. Slowly I made my way up the stairs, knowing that at any moment I would hear my mom crying because that was all she'd done for four days, but instead it was eerily quiet. When I got to the top of the stairs I turned toward my room, and then for reasons I still don't understand to this day, turned back toward my parents' room."

In the time it took him to take a deep breath, he could hear the sounds of Isabella crying behind him mixed with her soft words of "I love you." Taking the strength he needed from her words he looked up into the face of his mother. He swallowed over the huge lump in his throat and in barely more than a whisper went on. "When I got to her door, it was cracked open and when I knocked on it, it opened enough so that I could see her on the bed. I called her name a few times and got no answer so I thought she was sleeping. The window was open and the room was cold so I walked in, wanting to cover her up with a blanket. She was on her side, facing away from me and the blanket was on the chair next to her side of the bed. I walked as quietly as I could into the room, and I remember thinking it was odd that she didn't move. When I walked around the bed and looked at her, I immediately knew why."

"Oh, Edward...no..." Esme cried out in anguish. She reached out and clutched at his arms and her entire body shook when Edward nodded his head at her.

"She wasn't dead...yet, but she was just barely conscious. There were empty pill bottles strewn all over the bed in front of her along with the pills she hadn't taken. She was breathing really fast, like she couldn't catch her breath and her skin was this horrible grayish-white color. Her hair didn't even seem red anymore, but this washed-out dull brownish-orange color. I fell to my knees beside the bed and shook her, begging her not to leave me all alone. Over and over again I begged her and she just stared at me, not saying a word. When I'd cried myself out, I finally got it together enough to think to call 999 but when I moved to reach for the phone she stopped me. She begged me to let her die and told me she couldn't live without my father. When I asked her to live, to fight to stay alive, so she could stay with me, she told...she said..." Edward closed his eyes as he tried to keep her words from shattering him completely. He reached out and took Esme's hands in his and felt the arms of his wife wrap around him as she clung to his side.

Isabella couldn't take it any longer; her need to offer Edward some comfort, any comfort, simply overtook her and she flew from her father's side and fell to the floor beside him, holding him as tightly as her arms would allow. She wasn't sure she could hear the words again that his mother had spoken to him just moments before she died, but she knew she had to.

Though he could barely force the words out, Edward told Esme, "She said that I could never make her as happy as he could and that she would rather be with him than with me. On her last breath...she told me...she said...that without him there was nothing worth living for, not even me."

Once the words left his mouth, he sagged against Isabella and covered his face with his hands trying to stem the tears that poured from his eyes. Silently, he trembled as he leaned against her. The words swarmed in his mind, over and over again and for the briefest of moments he was back at that bedside, hearing those hateful, soul-killing words once more...that was until he felt the hands of Isabella reach for him and heard the sweet, loving, healing words of his beautiful wife.

"Edward, my love, you did it. It's done. I love you...I love you," she cried as she lifted his head up and tipped his face to hers. Her lips kissed every part of him she could reach and he wrapped his arms around her and held on for dear life as he shook in her arms. He could barely hear her words over his heavy breathing, but somehow he did. She told him over and over again, "You are worth loving, Edward. I love you, love you so much. I'm so proud of you."

Before long, Edward felt more arms around him, and he lifted his head from Isabella's shoulder to find Carlisle and Esme on the floor with him. He let go of his wife, though he didn't want to, and hugged both of his parents and felt their tears against his skin.

"Edward, oh, my boy! I love you so much...I'm so sorry," Esme cried hysterically as she squeezed him.

Carlisle could barely speak he was so overcome but he also said, "Edward, my son, I love you...I'm sorry," over and over again.

Edward couldn't speak; he just let his parents embrace him as he soaked up the comfort he felt being in their arms. It was an unsettling feeling to be sure after going so long without showing one another so much affection, but at the moment, it was needed. After another few moments passed, he felt another set of arms, this time much stronger, around his shoulders and he knew Emmett had joined them on the floor. His larger but younger brother shook uncontrollably beside him and had tears pouring down his face.

"Edward, oh, God...I'm so sorry...for everything...I didn't...I love you," he said almost incoherently.

Edward released one arm from around his father and lifted it to wrap around Emmett's. "Em, shhhh, you didn't know. I couldn't tell you...I'm sorry..." he started to say but was immediately silenced by Carlisle of all people.

"Edward, son, no! The blame for...I don't even know how to...just, please don't apologize any more. You have nothing to be sorry for," Carlisle said emphatically.

Even though he knew that wasn't quite the case, Edward didn't want to argue with him anymore. There were still things that needed to be worked through, but the worst was over.

The otherworldly beings looked on, all filled with a mixture of relief and pride and a bit of sadness, too, at the heartache the entire room was feeling, though none was feeling quite as much as Seth at that moment.

"You did it, Edward Anthony," the very proud angel whispered softly. He wanted nothing more than to be able to go to him and ease his pain, but knew he wasn't able to, at least not yet. He had never, ever, loved or been as moved by another human as he was when he watched Edward try to offer the very people that had damaged him the comfort only he could give. He could have raged and yelled; he could have blamed and insinuated, but Edward had done none of that. Instead he tried to ease their pain by speaking from the heart, and what a heart it was.

Yes, Seth had never been more proud.

The rest of the family looked on, almost in a stunned, shell-shocked state. There was tears from every last one of them along with plenty of self-recriminations. How could they not feel shamed at their behavior, at some of the things they'd all thought and said over the years when Edward had acted out? Every time Jasper cursed his best friend for his obstinacy; every time Rose blamed him for hurting Emmett; every time Charlie wondered whether Edward deserved his daughter caused each of them, and the others as they wrestled with their own misgivings, great amounts of heartache.

Isabella couldn't move, she just continued to rub circles on Edward's back and continued to cry softly. It hadn't been easier to hear the second time than the first, though she was proud to admit, she'd handled it much better than she had the other night. That was just...yeah, something she didn't want to relive ever again if she could help it. Finally, once it had appeared that Edward had gotten control of himself as had Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett, Edward sat up and disentangled himself from the numerous arms around him and settled back into the ones he needed more than any others.

"Beautiful," he said in a hoarse voice as he looked at her and wiped the tears from beneath his eyes with the backs of his hands.

Paying no heed to anything but him, Isabella pulled him up so that they were sitting on the couch and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She somehow managed to find her way to his lap and the two of them whispered words back and forth that only they could hear.

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"I'm so proud of you."

"You're my reason...for everything."

Words that soothed. Words that reinforced. Words that healed.

Words that meant...everything.

After a time, Edward became aware of the sounds of everyone else in the room and picked up his head to look at all of them. Surprisingly, he wasn't embarrassed by his breakdown though he did regret that having the others witness it had caused them pain. Once his eyes found his Isabella's, he kissed her gently on the forehead, whispering, "I'm okay," before scooting her off his lap. He slowly stood up, feeling his whole body ache, while at the same time noticing how much lighter and freer he felt at the same time.

It was unbelievable, really, but one glance toward the corner and into the face of his guardian angel, told him everything he needed to know.

He was finally...almost...free from the past that had haunted him for so very long.

Once he sat back down on the sofa with Isabella on one side of him and Esme on the other, along with Carlisle who had one hand in Esme's and the other around Emmett, who had been joined by Rosalie, he finished his painful story.

"Of course, that was the last thing she said to me and she died on her next breath. I could only stare at her lifeless body. I don't even know how long I sat there until I finally realized I needed to call 999. The paramedics came and took her away and the police took me away. I don't even know how they managed to contact you two; I can only remember a handful of times when she even mentioned you, but when you showed up at that home, I had no idea why you were there. I was just...numb. I didn't speak for days, not until you guys arrived, and even then I remember hardly talking. I just...couldn't," Edward said with a sad shake of his head.

Esme held onto Edward's hand, too afraid to let go and wholly unable to speak. She had so many things to tell him, to ask him, but every time she opened her mouth to say something, the words got stuck in her throat. Nothing she could say would ever be enough to make up for all the mistakes she had made but if it was the last thing she did, Edward would never go another day without knowing how much she loved him, how much she had always loved him and how sorry she was...for everything.

The others in the room shifted nervously, and each and every one of them wondered what to do, what to say. Thankfully, as he was quite prone to do, Emmett relieved the tension when he began to chuckle, though when he looked up at everyone, he had to wipe the tears out of his eyes to see.

"Em?" Edward questioned with raised eyebrows.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders but gave his brother what he hoped was a genuine smile. Inside he still felt like he was falling apart, but he wanted, needed, to do something to lessen the stifling atmosphere in the room, if only to give Edward a much needed break from the sorrow.

"I was just remembering the first Christmas you spent with us and the fact that the only thing you wanted was some book on the Industrial Revolution of all fucking things," Emmett said with a grin. "There I was asking for a new stereo for my room and new video games to play and you asked for a damn book."

"Yeah, well, maybe we should have traded presents. I'm sure I could have afforded to lighten up a bit," Edward said with a smirk.

"Under-fucking-statement of the century, my brother," Emmett teased him back with all the love he had.

Isabella stretched her neck so she could reach his cheek and when she did, she pressed a few soft kisses along his skin. She could feel his cheek lift with his smile and her heart leapt with the relief she felt that he had made it this far and was still, seemingly, holding it together. Oh, she had no doubt that they would all need some time to absorb what he told them and to deal with what he'd gone through, but the first and hardest step had been taken.

Edward took a few tension relieving breaths to try to get himself under control. Thankfully Emmett's attempt to lighten the mood worked and Edward felt marginally better; things had seemed to level out. He didn't want to move, but he needed to. He needed some air and a moment away from everyone to try to put his thoughts in order.
"Isabella, love, I'm going to step outside for a moment. I need...I just need some air," he said softly. He hoped she understood he wasn't pulling away and he certainly hoped she knew he needed her more than anything, but he just needed a few moments by himself…to just be.

"I'll be here when you're ready to come back inside. I love you, Edward," she told him quietly as she lifted her hand and pushed his hair back from his forehead.

He reached up and took her hand and pulled it to his mouth so that he could press a gentle, warm kiss to the inside of her wrist. "As I love you, always, Beautiful. I'll only be a few minutes," he whispered and then got up, bent over and kissed the top of her head, and then walked out onto the back patio.

Isabella waited until she heard the soft click of the door when he closed it behind him before she hung her head. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths so that she wouldn't start crying. There had been plenty of that and she didn't want to make things any harder for him than she needed to.

"Bambola, baby, are you okay?" Charlie asked as he moved to sit next to her.

Isabella shook her head, but didn't look up. She really wasn't okay and there was no point lying about it, especially to her father. He'd know she wasn't telling the truth the moment she looked at him anyway.

Finally, she did pick her head up and said, "But I...we will be." The tone of her voice left no room for anyone to doubt the veracity of her words.

"Damn straight you will, Bella, both of you," Alec said and he stood up on very shaky legs.

For the past hour he'd wanted to go to her, to check on her and make sure she was okay but he couldn't. It wasn't his place and he knew and accepted that. But now he could, and he was going to.

He knelt in front of her and rubbed the tops of her hands with his and waited until she lifted her eyes to his. "You hanging in there, honey?"

Isabella gave him a small, but genuine smile. "I'll be okay, Alec."

"I know this is a really stupid fucking question, but is there anything we can do for you two, anything you need?" he asked, wanting so very badly to do something, anything, to help ease their pain.

Isabella looked at him and then lifted one of her hands and placed it on top of his. "Just time, Alec. I know you all," she said quietly and then turned to look at everyone else in the room, "have more questions for him, but please, just let him come to terms with telling you all what he has so far before you bombard him with the rest of the things you want to know. Carlisle, Esme, Em, Rose, I know the six of us need to talk and we will, but for the rest of you, just...try not to push him more than he's pushed himself already."

"Of course, baby," Renée said as she sat with her arm wrapped around Nonna. "You two take all the time you need, we'll all be here when you need us."

Isabella leaned forward and kissed Alec on the cheek before she raced across the room and into the arms of her mother and Nonna. She needed her Mama and Nonna, and before long, Charlie had joined them on the couch as the Swan family came together as one. Edward had rightly been everyone's focus for the entire evening, but when Isabella's soft cries could be heard amongst the murmurings of her family, the rest of them all looked nervously and a bit sheepishly at one another.

It seemed as if one by one they all came to some sort of silent agreement and slipped out of the living room and made their way to the kitchen where Esme needed to do something, so she fixed everyone a drink.

While Isabella and her parents and Nonna spoke softly among themselves, and Esme, Carlisle and the others occupied themselves as well, Edward walked toward the shadows of the patio because he knew as soon as he was out of sight from everyone inside, Seth would be making an appearance.

He wasn't wrong.

"Edward Anthony, are you all right?" the angel asked immediately.

He had so many other things he wanted to say to his human, but first and foremost he needed to be assured Edward was okay, or as okay as anyone could expect.

"I have no idea," Edward answered without thinking, though it was the truth.

In all honesty, he did feel better, but there was still a huge hole in his chest from having to relive that time again, hear his mother's words again, not to mention knowing that he still needed to confront Carlisle and Esme. His mother had already had to endure so much tonight, learning horrible things about her own sister that she could never have imagined. He hated thinking he was going to add to her pain, but it had to be done. They'd all come too far not to put an end to all the anger and distance.

He wanted his family back.

"I'm so damn proud of you," Seth said quietly, well, as quietly as he was capable of at any rate.

Edward ran his hands over his face a few times before turning to look at the angel. Seth did indeed look inordinately pleased with him, and Edward was a bit shocked at how much that meant to him, how happy that made him.

"Thanks," Edward said, though it was a bit uneasily. Yeah, he was glad the angel was proud of him; he just wasn't all that inclined to let him know how much.

The all-knowing being regarded his charge for a few moments before he spoke again. "I know there is one last bridge to cross, though I have no doubt you'll be able to. You've done so well, Edward, and I know, even though you don't want to admit it to me, that you're proud of yourself as well and you should be. The gift you've given your family and friends, I can't even put into words how much you've given them and we both know I know A LOT of words," Seth teased with an impish grin.

Edward snorted, choosing not to answer either observation. He didn't need to. There was no reason to give the smug being anything else to gloat about.

He was exhausted, utterly fucking spent, and wanted nothing more than to fall into bed and think of nothing besides making love to his extraordinary wife. She'd been nothing short of incredible for the last few days; she always was incredible to his way of thinking of course, but even more so than before. Isabella was without question the strongest person he had ever known.

"I'm just ready to have the night be over," Edward said wearily.

"It almost is, Edward. Just finish what you started and then bask in the glow of the love and peace you have fought so hard for. I'll be around if you need me, but I have a feeling once you finish your discussion with your parents, my service won't be needed nor wanted for a bit," the cheeky angel said with a wink then was gone.

"Damn angel," Edward muttered under his breath, though he chuckled as he said it.

Taking a deep breath to try to brace himself for yet another painful discussion, he opened the door to go back inside.

Isabella had pulled herself together after being allowed to fall apart in the arms of her family and as soon as she heard the click of the door alerting her that Edward had come back inside, she rushed to meet him before he'd taken more than a step.

"Edward, sweetheart, are you okay?" she worriedly asked as she threw her arms around him.

Edward sighed against her, letting her touch calm the worry he was afraid was going to overwhelm him. "I will be, love. How about you, are you hanging in there? I know how hard this has been for you as well," he asked as he brushed her hair back behind her ear and gently trailed the back of his finger along her cheek. "You're so beautiful," he said before he could stop himself.

Her eyes were rimmed with red and were swollen, her face was splotchy, and the tip of her nose was still pink, but he had never thought she looked more beautiful than she did right then. He knew it was due to the fact of what she'd done for him, but that didn't negate the fact that just the sight of her left him breathless.

"I love you," he said softly and then because he needed to, he kissed her.

He completely relaxed against her little, warm body and enjoyed the feel of her pressed against him, her hands in his hair, and the way her tongue felt as it massaged his. When their kisses turned to little more than pecks, he smiled against her lips.

"Can we go upstairs yet?" he asked lightly, and he was only kidding, well, partly.

"Whenever you're ready," she answered him back, and she wasn't kidding at all.

If he was done for the night, she wouldn't push him to keep going. He'd done so much, said so much already, that she would support him no matter what he decided. Stop for now or go on; it was completely up to him.

"Let's get this done and behind both of us. Next time I make love to you, I want nothing between us and I'm not just talking about you being naked either, though that's always wanted. I'm ready to just...be me, no holding back, no hiding, just me and you," he told her as he linked their fingers together.

"Sounds perfect," Isabella sighed and squeezed his hand.

Charlie looked up when the two came back into the living room. Poor Edward looked like he'd been through the wringer. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was standing on end and he had dark circles under his eyes, but in spite of all that, the man looked like a thousand pound weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He always looked at his baby girl like she was a priceless work of art, but the way he looked at her now, well, he didn't have the words to describe it.

He was a fair man, prided himself on that every day, but the feelings of anger and rage he had burning inside of him for the people Edward had as parents, well, it was a damn good thing they were dead, Charlie thought with gritted teeth. In his most humble opinion, death was too easy for the two of them. They'd damn near destroyed Edward, and for that, he was angrier than he had ever been in his life.

He was so damn proud of Edward for having the courage to share his horrendous story with all of them, and like everyone else, thought it explained so much about him. He was truly honored to have Edward as a son, as part of their family and to be able to call him a friend as well. It was all Charlie had ever wanted both for his incredible daughter and for himself as well.

"Edward, son," Charlie said as he stood up when Edward approached. The rest of what he wanted to say died in his throat because as soon as he got close enough, Charlie pulled him in for a fierce hug.

Edward tightly closed his eyes, and though they burned from the tears that wanted to spill out, he managed to hold them all in; all but a few wayward ones that seeped out. He let himself be comforted by the man he respected more than any other and nodded his head while Charlie whispered in his ear.

"I love you, son, so damn much. If you need anything, ask and it's yours, always, okay? I'm so proud of you," Charlie told him and his own voice shook while he patted Edward on the back and then stepped back enough to pull him down so he could kiss the top of his head. "You going to be okay?" he asked after he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, I will," Edward answered with a smile.

"Good to hear. I still need to pay you back for the ass kicking you gave me on the golf course last time we played." Charlie chuckled and then downright laughed when his daughter stared at him with her mouth wide open.

"Bambola, stop looking at your old man like that. I can still keep up with you kids," he said and ruffled her hair.

"You...Edward...played golf...without me?" she asked and glared at the both of them.

"Aw shit, Edward. We're both in trouble now. Sorry, baby girl, we did. I'll take you both on next time, how's that sound?" Charlie asked with a wink.

Edward was so grateful for the lightening of the mood and gave his wife a sexy smile. "You think you can beat me, Beautiful?" he teased.

"You bet your ass I can - both of you. Fine, we'll play next week and then we'll see who has the last laugh," Isabella said as she looked from Edward to her father.

"And on that note, we're going to give you two sometime with Edward's family," Charlie said and wrapped an arm around each of them. "We love you both," he said simply, because other words weren't necessary.

"Thank you, Charlie. Love you, too," Edward told him and heard Isabella say the same thing.

With that, they were passed from Charlie to Renée, to Nonna and then the others followed Charlie's cue. There were more tears, plenty more hugs and kisses, and more affirmations of support. Once the door shut behind Alec and Marcus, the six people left all looked at one another. There was still so much left to say but it seemed as if no one had a clue as to where to begin.

Edward took the moment of uneasy silence and used it to look toward the corner where he knew Seth was watching and waiting.

"Ask them what you want to know, Edward. You deserve the answers you've been too afraid to ask for all this time. Get it all out, all the anger and bitterness, the fear and the regret; just let it all go, once and for all," Seth told him gently but urgently. "Don't be afraid any longer. You can do this."

"Don't leave me," Edward implored.

Seth beamed lovingly at him and said simply, "Never."

Edward nodded once and then took a deep breath before he asked, looking straight at Carlisle, "Why did you agree to take me in if you never wanted me in the first place?"

"Edward...what...no," Carlisle sputtered as he tripped over his words.

Edward and Isabella had taken their seat back on the ottoman and with his free hand, he pinched the bridge of his nose while he hung his head. He picked it back up and then shook it saying, "Carlisle, I'm tired of the bullshit. This is hard enough without you keeping up a charade you've had going on for twenty years now. Let's be honest, for once, and get things out in the open. Please."

Carlisle swallowed convulsively a few times trying to get his throat to work so he could say something...anything. He felt like an anvil had just been dropped on his chest it hurt so badly. His mind worked furiously as he tried to figure out what could have possibly given Edward the idea he never wanted him. He knew he had much to make up for, but not for one moment did he ever imagine Edward believed he hadn't been wanted. He could feel Esme shaking beside him and heard her mutter "oh, no, oh, no," over and over again as she held her hand over her heart and rocked back and forth.

"Son," Carlisle said and let the tears fall, unchecked, over his face until they fell off his chin and splashed silently on the floor. "I know I've made mistakes, a hell of a lot of them, but never, ever for one moment have I not wanted you, not loved you. If it takes until my last dying breath, I'll do everything in my power to make up to you all the things I've done wrong, but please, please, believe me when I tell you, I've always wanted you with this family."

Edward snorted loudly and shook his head. Instead of the words making him feel better they made him, if it was possible, even angrier and more bitter than before. He'd poured his heart out; he laid all his secrets and hurts on the proverbial table for all to see. He'd left nothing out, spared nothing, and all he wanted, needed, was to finally get some answers and Carlisle was still lying to him.

Well, fuck that...to hell and back.

He stood up quickly, after he squeezed Isabella's shoulder and faced the man who claimed to love him. "Stop fucking lying to me!" he raged. "I know you never wanted me! Why can't you just admit it and then you can stop trying to pretend that you care. Why wasn't I ever good enough for you?" he asked in a voice raw with all his pent up hurt and bitterness. Defeated, he sat back down next to Isabella as silent tears fell from his eyes. He held his head in his hands as he bent forward at the waist. Barely able talk now that he'd asked the question he'd held inside for twenty years, he choked out, "Why couldn't you love me like I needed you to?"

Fighting every instinct she had to scream and yell at Carlisle for hurting Edward the way he had, Isabella stayed seated on the ottoman as her heart shattered while she watched her husband ask, demand, for answers that he very much deserved.

She had never loved him more.

Esme cried out and made a move to get up off the sofa but Carlisle held her back with a shake of his head. He flew from his seat and sank to the floor in front of Edward. He reached for his face and held it between his hands, lifting it so he could look him in the eyes. He was a complete and utter failure as a father; he didn't deserve to ever be forgiven for his past actions and he accepted that. Edward had been hurt so much, more than anyone should have had to suffer, and he was putting an end to it...now.

If Edward wanted him out of his life, he'd go. If he wanted to hit and scream at him, he'd take it all, every blow every word, he'd take, willingly, if he could ease even the smallest bit of Edward's pain.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," Carlisle choked out, barely able to speak, but he made sure to use his full name for reinforcement of what he was about to say. It was something he should have said a long, long time ago. "I love you; I've always loved you, as much as if you were my own flesh and blood. I'm so damn sorry, more than I can ever tell you, that I've let my own foolish, stubborn pride get in the way of being the father you've needed. You've deserved so much more than I've given you and trust me when I say, it is the thing I am most ashamed of in my life. I've failed you, failed this family, and by doing so, caused you so much unnecessary pain," he sobbed, almost uncontrollably. "I'm sorry...so damn sorry," he repeated over and over again.

Edward stared at him through his tears, feeling very much like the fourteen-year-old version of himself. All the anxiety, all the fear, all the doubt swirled around in his mind and he barely heard himself whisper, "But I heard what you said."

Carlisle heard him though, as did everyone else in the room. In tandem they all gasped, the ramifications of what he'd just said settled heavily over them all.

"Edward, I don't know what you're talking about, but I promise I never said anything like that, not ever," Carlisle said, still holding onto his face.

"I heard it though. I did," Edward answered him and even to his own ears he could hear the hesitation and questioning tone of his voice.

Esme couldn't bear to hear anymore and she was more confused than she'd ever been in her life, so she knelt on the floor between her husband and son. "Edward, please dear, tell us what you heard," she beseeched with a tremulous voice.

Edward took one look at Isabella, at the eyes that held an unending supply of love and faith for and in him, and took a deep breath. He was about to let go of twenty years of pent up feelings and resentment and honestly, he wasn't all that sure how he felt about it all. Sure he wanted to be free of it, but it had been his buffer, his security blanket for the majority of his life. How was he going to act when it was gone? Questions he probably should have asked himself a long time ago, but truthfully, he never thought he'd get to this place.

Ever.

Carlisle lowered his hands and then on aching legs managed to stand up, helping Esme as well. They sat on the sofa and both faced Edward once more.

"Edward, tell me what you heard, please. Let's put everything behind us and move forward, as a family. Please," Carlisle entreated.

Sighing, Edward looked off to the distance and remembered with vivid clarity that day so many, many years ago and began to speak in a quiet voice. "It was just a few days after I'd gotten here and I still hadn't said very much. I'd met Grandfather and Helen and everyone was still adjusting to everything. Well, except for Emmett." Edward chuckled and then grinned at his brother across from him where he sat with Rose on the loveseat.

"Anyway," he went on, "I kept hearing you and Mother whispering back and forth, which you can understand now made me nervous and scared, because I kept thinking you were trying to figure out a way to send me back or something. Looking back on it now, I know that wasn't the case, but back then, I had no idea. All of a sudden both of my parents were dead, and you two came and pretty much just took over. I had a new name, new parents, and was whisked off to live in a new country, with a whole different family. I was overwhelmed and afraid, still dealing with the deaths of my parents and then all of that other stuff at the same time."

"Oh, Edward, sweetheart, we didn't know...I didn't realize," Esme said softly and full of remorse.

Edward shrugged his shoulders at her, not knowing what exactly to say to her because there was more he needed to say.

"I still couldn't figure out why you wanted me, because my own parents didn't. My own mother wanted to die rather than stay with me, so I kept thinking at any point, if I did anything wrong or anything to upset anyone, I'd just be sent away. After I did what I did with the posters in my room, I was so scared. Every time I heard Mother crying, I figured it was my fault. The two of you were standing in Carlisle's study and I was passing by; Esme was crying again and I heard...I heard you say," Edward said with a shaky voice, "Darling, I hate that you are hurting this much and in this much agony. If we didn't have to bring him here, then you wouldn't be like this. His presence is causing you so much heartache."

The words caused Carlisle to wrap his arms around his stomach as he tried, almost without succeeding, to keep from throwing up. He was sick, positively wracked with pain and guilt and an overwhelming sense of a regret so profound, he couldn't breathe. He started hyperventilating as he tried to speak...without being able to. Finally after a few very raw, aching breaths he managed to say, "Oh, Edward, son...I'm so sorry," and tried to figure out a way to fix the mess he'd made so long ago.

~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~