Chapter 22 Review Reply and Honeymoon Outtake Bonus Scene

Hi again!

Well, I know for most, if not all of you, that was a hard chapter to get through and I'm sorry for that. I do hope it gives you a better understanding of our Edward, though. And, there have been a few comments and such about the level of abuse, etc that Edward has suffered. If you will recall a few chapters ago when Edward and Jasper were speaking, Edward is fully aware that his story is by no means the worst thing that could have happened to him and that there are others out there who have suffered far greater than he has. While I don't want to imply that either, it should be easy to see how the emotional abandonment he did suffer from both his parent affected him and shaped him into the man he is now. 

With that said, there are still a few more revelations coming in the next two chapters. I promise the sad won't last for too long, by the middle of Chp 24, you all will know as much as Edward and Isabella...promise. I do want to thank you all for continuing to have faith in me. I know lots are still worried about how much time Edward has, and I promise it will all be revealed soon. I have a plan!!! Trust me!

I hope you're going to stick with me to the end! There are still quite a few things left to get through...Vincent, what's going on at CP, a trip to the soccer stadium with Edward, Isabella, Charlie and Jack...some brotherly bonding between Edward and Emmett...Sophie and a few other surprises along the way! So...the story isn't done yet!

I'm not sure about alerts and such considering the mess FFn has been lately, but I hope everyone has read the outtakes that I've posted so far. While they aren't vital to the story, they do give you a much deeper understanding of some of the outside influences to Edward and Isabella as well as our lovable, pain in the ass angel. I know Seth's story isn't a happy feel good one, but he does have to die to be an angel you know! However, it does show just how much he and Edward have in common and why he's wanted to help him for so long...so I hope you all will at least give them a look and let me know what you think.

Just a few odds and ends for you all. I still haven't decided on what to write for the Fandom4Tsunami so if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them. TGG, TPWC, or anything else, let me know, okay. By now you all should know how to find me either through PM, email, or DM on Twitter.

Voting is open in the Let the Games Begin contest I submitted a Soccerward O/S for. I know the subject matter isn't for everyone because it's Edward/Jasper slash but if you want to vote for me anyway...and I would appreciate it so much...or just take a peek at at it, you can go here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2719275/

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and like always, for the incredible support and encouragement you give me week in and week out. Your reviews, PM's, emails, and messages on Twitter mean more than you can know. I read them over and over again and I smile each and every time. I've gotten to know so many of you and it's been an incredible experience meeting you all and hearing from you week after week. This story is a leap of faith, I know that, and I can't tell you what it means to me that you've trusted me enough to take this journey with me. It will be worth it in the end, promise!

Look for me on Twitter, I am finding myself spending more and more time on there! @les_sh_16

For those of you who have been retweeting my chapter updates and such, thank you so much!!! I appreciate that more than you can know!

If you're not on Twitter but are on gtalk, hell, find me there, too! Me and my girls are always on there...erinsharpe.16(@)gmail(.)com. Friend me and I'll accept!

Remember to email me if you're missing a bonus scene, from yours, and I'll send it to you.

Okay, here is a sneak peek into my Fandoms4Floods Honeymoon outtake. There is an absolutely gorgeous banner made my dear friend lizzylilyrose on the blog that goes along with this, so please take a look at it. Remember, this Edward is different from the one we have now...but he's not quite as closed off as he was in Chapter 1, okay? You still have time to donate and receive the incredible compilations...yes, there are 2 of them. If you need more info...look on the blog or contact me!

See you Sunday! Don't forget the tissues...you're gonna need them!

Hugs and Much Love,
Erin~

PS...Be sure to keep checking the blog for new things on there. Have you all seen the amazing banner YSAR made for me?! It's so freaking beautiful!!

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Chapter 22 Bonus Scene~ Honeymoon Outtake

He loved her, God knew he did, but the feeling was foreign to him. It scared him in all honesty, only because he didn't know how to show her. He didn't know how to let her know how important she was to him and how happy she made him. He'd never been this close to anyone before and the fear of doing something to upset her paralyzed him.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to keep the thoughts of his birth parents and Ireland away. He worked so hard on a daily basis to not think about them, he sure as hell wasn't going to let them ruin his day now. Instead he concentrated on Isabella.
Flashback~

"You nervous, Ed?" Emmett had asked him as they stood on the steps of the altar of Isabella's church.

Edward blew out a nervous breath but shook his head in answer to his brother and best man's question. "No," he told him.

Emmett chuckled beside him and said, "Yeah, sure you're not."

Edward grunted at Emmett but didn't say anything further. He shifted from foot to foot and curled his hands into tight fists before relaxing them. He was really fucking nervous, but there was no way in hell he would ever tell Emmett that. "You have her ring, right?" Edward demanded when he turned to look at Em.

"Yes, Edward. You've already asked me that like ten times at least. Could have fooled me you weren't nervous," Emmett needled again.

Edward rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything further. They both knew he was full of shit, no point in trying to say otherwise. He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Father O'Connor take his place in the middle of the altar. His stomach almost fell out of his ass as he realized it was time but he tried to give the priest what he hoped was a smile. He had a feeling it came out looking like a grimace, especially when the good-looking priest chuckled at him.

"Edward, my boy, are you going to be all right?" Father O'Connor asked him.

Edward took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. He'd probably messed it up, but in all reality, it probably didn't look much different than it normally did. "Yes, sir," Edward answered him. He noticed that Father O'Connor didn't believe him anymore than Emmett had, especially when the older man chuckled at him.

"It's okay to be nervous, Edward. Today is a big step for you and Isabella," he told him kindly and Edward nodded in response.

Big step...well that was an understatement if he'd ever heard one.

He heard the music change and the guests situate themselves in their seats. He looked around the church and was again extremely thankful for his about-to-be wife's insistence on a small, intimate wedding. Being who he was, he was sure it had been expected that his wedding would be some elaborate affair, but Isabella being who she was, insisted that she didn't want anything lavish or ostentatious. She wanted to get married in the church she'd grown up attending, only wanted to invite family and friends, and wanted to have a simple reception afterward. He was more grateful for that than he could express. He would have given her whatever she wanted, but the fact that she somehow seemed to intuitively know that a big wedding would have been more than he could handle made him love her even more.

The doors opened and he saw Rosalie and he knew that behind her stood Isabella and Charlie. He chuckled when he heard Emmett whisper, "Damn," under his breath as Rose made her way up the center aisle. She did look very pretty, he had to admit. Isabella had let Rose chose her own dress because she was going to be the only person standing with her, just like Emmett was Edward's only groomsman Rose had chosen a deep, dark red dress and she gave Emmett a big smile when she looked at him. The smile she gave Edward was a bit less enthusiastic, but it was a loving one at least.

The music changed again to Pachelbel's Canon and he swore every ounce of breath left his body in one fell swoop when he saw Isabella standing at the end of the aisle, her hand tightly wrapped around her father's arm. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and he felt his eyes burn almost immediately with unshed tears; it almost hurt to look at her, she was such a vision. Her dress clung to her body and made her pale skin almost iridescent. It was elegant, but not plain by any stretch of the imagination, and it was exactly her. Understated, classic, with a hint of sexiness and he knew he would never, ever forget what she looked like as long as he lived.

Christ he loved her, so damn much.

He never expected to feel this way about anyone...ever...and the fact that she had the power to break him completely scared him more than he had words to describe. Of course he kept that realization to himself; there was no way he was telling her he was totally at her mercy. He'd seen what that had done and he was not going down that road, not ever.

As she reached the altar and Charlie placed her hand in his, he felt like he could finally breathe, like he was finally...home. The earrings he'd given her for a wedding present glittered in the candlelight from the candles on the altar. Her eyes were so bright, so clear, he swore he could get lost in them and not come out for days. She had minimal make-up on, not that he ever felt she needed any in the first place. She had the sweetest, warmest, most loving smile on her face and Edward felt his heart thump almost painfully in his chest as he squeezed her hand in his.

She was about to be his wife, be his forever, and he was so overwhelmed by all he was feeling, he couldn't think. The ceremony passed in a haze, though he somehow was able to speak when he needed to. Thankfully they'd chosen traditional vows to say to each other so he didn't have to worry too much about forgetting the words. When he finally spoke the words that would bind him to her forever, he was surprised when his voice didn't shake, but was instead confident and sure...as was hers. She pledged herself to him with a huge smile on her face and tears in her eyes, but there was no doubting how very much she loved him...everyone in the congregation could tell.

When he finally got to kiss the bride, he cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. He hoped with all he had that she could feel everything he was too scared to tell her. That he loved her with all his heart, that he was every bit as much hers and she was his, that he hoped he could make her happy...that he was afraid he wouldn't be enough for her.

There were hugs, kisses, and pictures to take before they made their way to the reception. He barely remembered the limo ride from the church to the hotel, but he could recall with vivid clarity how happy Isabella had seemed. They talked about their impending trip to Italy and he was more pleased than he could say that she seemed so excited to go there. He hadn't been sure of where to take her on their honeymoon, but once he'd spent time with her family, Nonna especially, he knew without a doubt that going to Italy was perfect.

The reception passed quickly, though he enjoyed it much more than he thought he would. He danced with Esme, Rose, Alice, Renee, and Nonna. When he held Isabella in his arms for the traditional first dance as husband and wife, he knew without a doubt that he was the luckiest man on the planet. He knew he didn't deserve her, but he'd be damned if he was going to let that make a difference. He knew he couldn't live without her and now he didn't have to.

They left the reception, after Isabella had changed into travel clothes, and after another round of hugs and kisses. He was uncomfortable with all the displays of affection, but in all honesty, most of it was directed at his beautiful wife, who still hadn't stopped smiling. With promises to call from Italy, they finally headed toward the airport.

End of Flashback~

Edward groaned in his seat as he again imagined her in her wedding dress, the way she looked when they danced in front of their friends and family… how sweet she was when she thanked him for taking her on a fabulous honeymoon, even though they hadn't even taken off yet. She was so good, so tender and loving and with all he had, he hoped he would be able to be the man she needed.

He didn't pray; he'd stopped long ago after he'd been broken and scarred, but for her he did. He prayed that somehow, someway he would find the strength within to allow himself to be happy. That he would have faith in her and her love and not shut her out...that he could find a way to let her see who he truly was.

He still held onto her hand and closed his eyes, hoping that when he woke up, he could be the man she needed him to be.